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<blockquote data-quote="Ma Kettle" data-source="post: 476067" data-attributes="member: 13066"><p>Finally get a chance to post...</p><p></p><p>Keista-Thank you for the info. I did not know that we had to request for a diagnosis. Going to do that at the next appointment for sure. Thanks again!</p><p></p><p>KTMom: My husband is ready, willing and able to be on the same page. He has a hard time being the disciplinarian, and we are moving more towards him taking care of that, so I am not always the 'bad guy'.</p><p></p><p>Hound dog: You are so right about the cutting. Since finding out HP cuts, I have been checking her after showers. I heard the inner thigh is a place they like, too. She has confided she has felt like cutting, but has not done so for two months. I wish she didn't even feel like doing it, but at least she isn't acting on the feeling.</p><p>I am going to put 'S' story further down in this post, which will explain alot. </p><p>Sometimes I think that she wanted to get caught, too. Wish I would have caught it earlier.</p><p></p><p>MidwestMom: I am not with her at school, so I can't be sure, but I don't think she is taking any drugs since before everything went to he11. We bought test kits and check her eyes, etc. I do worry she might have stuff hidden in the basement. She swears she doesn't, but we don't let her go to the basement alone.</p><p></p><p>Buddy: You were/are my favorite person to read about when I lurked on this site. I can feel through your words how much you love your son. It breaks my heart for you. I wish you well and send you hugs.</p><p>You are dead on right about how important it is to apologize. I found myself tearing her down and saying nasty things one day after school (I had to miss something at work to pick her up, and people were bugging me about why can't my 14 stay home alone blah blah blah and I was upset) (not that I was right). I went to my desk after giving her a piece of my mind and cried. When it was time to leave I did apologize. I told her I wanted her to get better, and I didn't want to feel this bad or make her feel worse. We came up with a code 'sentence' where if I was acting that way again, she would say it to remind me I wasn't being productive. She hugged me after that. I think she was suprised I admitted I was wrong. I am sorry for all that happened to you. Any wise words you have for me would be appreciated. I know I am not perfect and just want a happy healthy child.</p><p></p><p>Stepto2: Story of 'S' to follow...</p><p>I know she isn't sneaking out now. Ever since the night the stuff hit the fan I have slept with her in the same bed. She has to crawl over me to go to the bathroom, but she never gets up until I wake her in the morning. The only time she isn't observed by husband or me, is when she is at school. Which makes me nervous. We check her backpack, pockets, etc. Any other suggestions would be great.</p><p></p><p>Fran: Thank you for all your kind/wise words. I beat myself up about things all the time. I will come back to your message every time I feel low. Thank you!</p><p></p><p>Okay, the story of what happened with 'S'</p><p></p><p>When Halfpint went to the hospital to see if she was mentally stable to go to a teen in trouble home for the night, the psychiatrist that interviewed her told us that she would have to report this to CPS. CPS contacted us within a day, which I was really amazed about. Caseworker went to HP's school and interviewed her. He called us later that day and said he sent this case on to a detective with the local police. That it would take two weeks or so for the detective to get back with us. So we waited.</p><p>Halfpint had to turn over all passwords to her Facebook, ipod, cell phone, email accounts, etc (which she did with no objections. I took her phone, and scanned her FB account because she, of course, was friends with 'S'. 'S' did not try to contact her at all during that time (which shows me how much he cares about her, but I never thought he did to begin with). Two days after the stuff hit the fan at our house, he posts that he has to go back east to see family. So I worry that the detective won't get to interview him because he is out of state. I have my PCDDMary find out from 'S's brother his dad's address back east. Just in case. husband and I get a call from Caseworker, who is near crying. He says that the detective isn't going to do anything about 'S' because it doesn't sound like coercion. We were so upset. Considered having a restraining order made against 'S' when he got back to Utah. </p><p>But in thinking about it, I flipped. I called 'S' mom. Told her "I hear you brought my daughter home at 4 and 5 in the morning some days during the summer. Did you know your son gave her drugs and sold her drugs and got her drunk and had sex with her? Did you know she is 14?" She complained about all the problems 'S' has given her, blah blah blah. I leveled with her. I told her if 'S' comes near Halfpint, husband will kill him. I said I would call the police. I told her that it is up to her now to help me. She has to let me know when he is in Utah, so that I can be sure to be extra vigilant with HP. That she helped in my daughters deliquency, because who would let a 14 girl be out with a boy from 1 am to 4 or 5? And when she dropped HP off, no porch light like we were expecting her? And she would come in the back door. 'S' mom promised to keep us posted of where 'S' is. </p><p>Days after that 'S' posts how much he hates it there, who wants to party when he gets back, etc. And then two weeks after he leaves, he posts that his family just did an intervention, and he is going to a 30 day rehab in Cali. No fb posts from him since. It has been past 30 days, so I think they must of extended it. Of course, 'S' mom has not called to let me know where 'S' is. She and her hubby now live on the east coast, too, so 'S' has no immediate family here to live with if/when he gets out.</p><p>So this is where we stand with 'S'. The police couldn't be bothered to follow the law (and I know HP was championing for him to not get in trouble, in fact it was one of her biggest worries). She kept saying it was all her choice, she wanted to do those things, etc. She was so relieved when she found out he didn't get in trouble. I wanted to shake her (but I restrained myself from doing so). I have access to the pages of 'S' and his older brother, who is/was friends with PCDDMary. I have their addresses back east, and 'S' moms cell phone number. I just pray he never comes back here, or at the least that we have fair warning.</p><p></p><p>And that is the rest of the story, in a nutshell.</p><p></p><p>Thanks for listening. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>Ma Kettle, 40ish married 21 years to</p><p>Pa Kettle, 40ish, Type I diabetes</p><p>easy child daughter 'Mary' 18, ADD out of state college student and my sunshine</p><p>difficult child daughter 'Halfpint' 15 (as of just a week ago) breaking our hearts</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ma Kettle, post: 476067, member: 13066"] Finally get a chance to post... Keista-Thank you for the info. I did not know that we had to request for a diagnosis. Going to do that at the next appointment for sure. Thanks again! KTMom: My husband is ready, willing and able to be on the same page. He has a hard time being the disciplinarian, and we are moving more towards him taking care of that, so I am not always the 'bad guy'. Hound dog: You are so right about the cutting. Since finding out HP cuts, I have been checking her after showers. I heard the inner thigh is a place they like, too. She has confided she has felt like cutting, but has not done so for two months. I wish she didn't even feel like doing it, but at least she isn't acting on the feeling. I am going to put 'S' story further down in this post, which will explain alot. Sometimes I think that she wanted to get caught, too. Wish I would have caught it earlier. MidwestMom: I am not with her at school, so I can't be sure, but I don't think she is taking any drugs since before everything went to he11. We bought test kits and check her eyes, etc. I do worry she might have stuff hidden in the basement. She swears she doesn't, but we don't let her go to the basement alone. Buddy: You were/are my favorite person to read about when I lurked on this site. I can feel through your words how much you love your son. It breaks my heart for you. I wish you well and send you hugs. You are dead on right about how important it is to apologize. I found myself tearing her down and saying nasty things one day after school (I had to miss something at work to pick her up, and people were bugging me about why can't my 14 stay home alone blah blah blah and I was upset) (not that I was right). I went to my desk after giving her a piece of my mind and cried. When it was time to leave I did apologize. I told her I wanted her to get better, and I didn't want to feel this bad or make her feel worse. We came up with a code 'sentence' where if I was acting that way again, she would say it to remind me I wasn't being productive. She hugged me after that. I think she was suprised I admitted I was wrong. I am sorry for all that happened to you. Any wise words you have for me would be appreciated. I know I am not perfect and just want a happy healthy child. Stepto2: Story of 'S' to follow... I know she isn't sneaking out now. Ever since the night the stuff hit the fan I have slept with her in the same bed. She has to crawl over me to go to the bathroom, but she never gets up until I wake her in the morning. The only time she isn't observed by husband or me, is when she is at school. Which makes me nervous. We check her backpack, pockets, etc. Any other suggestions would be great. Fran: Thank you for all your kind/wise words. I beat myself up about things all the time. I will come back to your message every time I feel low. Thank you! Okay, the story of what happened with 'S' When Halfpint went to the hospital to see if she was mentally stable to go to a teen in trouble home for the night, the psychiatrist that interviewed her told us that she would have to report this to CPS. CPS contacted us within a day, which I was really amazed about. Caseworker went to HP's school and interviewed her. He called us later that day and said he sent this case on to a detective with the local police. That it would take two weeks or so for the detective to get back with us. So we waited. Halfpint had to turn over all passwords to her Facebook, ipod, cell phone, email accounts, etc (which she did with no objections. I took her phone, and scanned her FB account because she, of course, was friends with 'S'. 'S' did not try to contact her at all during that time (which shows me how much he cares about her, but I never thought he did to begin with). Two days after the stuff hit the fan at our house, he posts that he has to go back east to see family. So I worry that the detective won't get to interview him because he is out of state. I have my PCDDMary find out from 'S's brother his dad's address back east. Just in case. husband and I get a call from Caseworker, who is near crying. He says that the detective isn't going to do anything about 'S' because it doesn't sound like coercion. We were so upset. Considered having a restraining order made against 'S' when he got back to Utah. But in thinking about it, I flipped. I called 'S' mom. Told her "I hear you brought my daughter home at 4 and 5 in the morning some days during the summer. Did you know your son gave her drugs and sold her drugs and got her drunk and had sex with her? Did you know she is 14?" She complained about all the problems 'S' has given her, blah blah blah. I leveled with her. I told her if 'S' comes near Halfpint, husband will kill him. I said I would call the police. I told her that it is up to her now to help me. She has to let me know when he is in Utah, so that I can be sure to be extra vigilant with HP. That she helped in my daughters deliquency, because who would let a 14 girl be out with a boy from 1 am to 4 or 5? And when she dropped HP off, no porch light like we were expecting her? And she would come in the back door. 'S' mom promised to keep us posted of where 'S' is. Days after that 'S' posts how much he hates it there, who wants to party when he gets back, etc. And then two weeks after he leaves, he posts that his family just did an intervention, and he is going to a 30 day rehab in Cali. No fb posts from him since. It has been past 30 days, so I think they must of extended it. Of course, 'S' mom has not called to let me know where 'S' is. She and her hubby now live on the east coast, too, so 'S' has no immediate family here to live with if/when he gets out. So this is where we stand with 'S'. The police couldn't be bothered to follow the law (and I know HP was championing for him to not get in trouble, in fact it was one of her biggest worries). She kept saying it was all her choice, she wanted to do those things, etc. She was so relieved when she found out he didn't get in trouble. I wanted to shake her (but I restrained myself from doing so). I have access to the pages of 'S' and his older brother, who is/was friends with PCDDMary. I have their addresses back east, and 'S' moms cell phone number. I just pray he never comes back here, or at the least that we have fair warning. And that is the rest of the story, in a nutshell. Thanks for listening. :) Ma Kettle, 40ish married 21 years to Pa Kettle, 40ish, Type I diabetes easy child daughter 'Mary' 18, ADD out of state college student and my sunshine difficult child daughter 'Halfpint' 15 (as of just a week ago) breaking our hearts [/QUOTE]
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