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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 476141" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>I pray that is the end of the story with S too. I'm still living my "S" story (Katie's M) and that started when she was 14, he was 26 and she will be 32 in Jan and he is 44. The really sick part? She still defends him, and it's gotten much worse over the years. </p><p></p><p>But her biomom didn't make the choices or take the steps you did with her, instead she moved the man into the house when katie was 16...........so hopefully this is the end of S completely.</p><p></p><p>Good for you for apologizing, and major kuddos for giving difficult child a code phrase to let you know when you might be going over the top. (which is not hard to do with a normal teen let alone a difficult child one) We're only human, not the super heros our kids grow up believing us to be. </p><p></p><p>I did find an exercise that proved to be helpful with Nichole's urge to cut, because she didn't just cut.......when it's really bad she carves awful words and phrases deep into her skin. One day I handed her a permanent marker, told her it served the same purpose of cutting by letting her express herself, without the dreadful scars left behind when she was more stable and feeling better. She used it for years and it did help keep the cutting down to minimum, only when she was really bad. </p><p></p><p>If difficult child starts taking a major liking to jeans and long sleeved shirts be suspicious. Nichole hid her cutting. </p><p></p><p>Yet as she became more stable.....she was indeed left with the hideous scars. So I broke my own rule and let her get a tattoo under 18, one she designed herself, which was done over the worst of the scars to hide them. Artist did an excellent job. She has since covered others that way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 476141, member: 84"] I pray that is the end of the story with S too. I'm still living my "S" story (Katie's M) and that started when she was 14, he was 26 and she will be 32 in Jan and he is 44. The really sick part? She still defends him, and it's gotten much worse over the years. But her biomom didn't make the choices or take the steps you did with her, instead she moved the man into the house when katie was 16...........so hopefully this is the end of S completely. Good for you for apologizing, and major kuddos for giving difficult child a code phrase to let you know when you might be going over the top. (which is not hard to do with a normal teen let alone a difficult child one) We're only human, not the super heros our kids grow up believing us to be. I did find an exercise that proved to be helpful with Nichole's urge to cut, because she didn't just cut.......when it's really bad she carves awful words and phrases deep into her skin. One day I handed her a permanent marker, told her it served the same purpose of cutting by letting her express herself, without the dreadful scars left behind when she was more stable and feeling better. She used it for years and it did help keep the cutting down to minimum, only when she was really bad. If difficult child starts taking a major liking to jeans and long sleeved shirts be suspicious. Nichole hid her cutting. Yet as she became more stable.....she was indeed left with the hideous scars. So I broke my own rule and let her get a tattoo under 18, one she designed herself, which was done over the worst of the scars to hide them. Artist did an excellent job. She has since covered others that way. [/QUOTE]
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