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Newbie - Wondering if it is too late to help my son
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 407734" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Ahum - </p><p> </p><p>You know of course that you are family now - and difficult child is one of our kids - so this isn't the end of this. This is of course - on going for life. The support, the help, the need, the caring - the hope we know what is going on in your life - good or bad. </p><p> </p><p>And the touch-stone that you have here - because if you don't know or arent' certain that someone is putting the boots to you in Utah? WE WILL or we will do research for or help you. That's what families do for each other - help. Not just a casual - hey ====and then - oh ........whatever. </p><p> </p><p>The fact that he's in juvie tonight? Gives you only a temporary bandaid to this situation - BECAUSE a lot of parents think - Okay he's in a place where he's off the streets and ALL that flood of worry and emotion you have had pent up inside? Goes out of you and either you are joyful he's there and relax for a while or you realize your son is in JUVIE and MORE things come to light and start worrying in a different way. Perhaps a worse way - when you shouldn't. That's why I still suggest the therapist for YOU and husband if you can get him to go - because seriously? 1.) This family is in crisis. EVEN though the thorn is out of the paw so to speak? And you can think - well juvie will change him, he'll come out of there changed yada yada yada - wishful thinking.....What then? OR what if he does not? What if like so many of our kids - WHAT if he just goes there and comes out with an agenda of his own? hate to say it but WOW ==when that happens? How are you going to be prepared for it? See? Yeah -this is why right now? While you HAVE peace? It's THE ABSOLUTE best time to go seek counseling and family therapy or parenting classes together or alone - whatever.....because you DO (like I used to say HAVE 1/2 my witts about me) and not trying to go to work, and worry about where the kid is, and deal with fights, and husband and pay bills and other life worries with scrambled eggs for brains.</p><p> </p><p>It just gets to be too much. I had a stroke. The stress is incredible. The stroke was wild. I'm lucky I'm not twisted up or in a chair or something. Between thinking I was having a heart attack and then having that? Being nearly bald -honestly? The only thing that kept me sane WAS my therapist. It was finally like having someone - SOMEONE who was whispering answers in my ear that gave me the right things to say to everyone so 1.) I didn't sound like I was going off my nut and 2.) I did get the people in my house motivated. I felt like freakin Harry Potter. No joke. I wasn't waving a wand - but it was as close to magic as I came in my life. --Just soze ya know - It does NOT work for you scrub the toilet, give me all your money and can I have a donkey? </p><p> </p><p>Anyway - I was thinking of you today and wondering how my nephew was doing - and, well? I see. So anyway keep us posted and let us know if you need anything. Daisyface made me laugh when she said she showed the therapist all their certificates - only because we did too.....OMWord I thought ----I can copy them or do you want me to take them off my office wall? They're framed! lol. </p><p> </p><p>Take care kiddo - </p><p>Hugs & Love </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 407734, member: 4964"] Ahum - You know of course that you are family now - and difficult child is one of our kids - so this isn't the end of this. This is of course - on going for life. The support, the help, the need, the caring - the hope we know what is going on in your life - good or bad. And the touch-stone that you have here - because if you don't know or arent' certain that someone is putting the boots to you in Utah? WE WILL or we will do research for or help you. That's what families do for each other - help. Not just a casual - hey ====and then - oh ........whatever. The fact that he's in juvie tonight? Gives you only a temporary bandaid to this situation - BECAUSE a lot of parents think - Okay he's in a place where he's off the streets and ALL that flood of worry and emotion you have had pent up inside? Goes out of you and either you are joyful he's there and relax for a while or you realize your son is in JUVIE and MORE things come to light and start worrying in a different way. Perhaps a worse way - when you shouldn't. That's why I still suggest the therapist for YOU and husband if you can get him to go - because seriously? 1.) This family is in crisis. EVEN though the thorn is out of the paw so to speak? And you can think - well juvie will change him, he'll come out of there changed yada yada yada - wishful thinking.....What then? OR what if he does not? What if like so many of our kids - WHAT if he just goes there and comes out with an agenda of his own? hate to say it but WOW ==when that happens? How are you going to be prepared for it? See? Yeah -this is why right now? While you HAVE peace? It's THE ABSOLUTE best time to go seek counseling and family therapy or parenting classes together or alone - whatever.....because you DO (like I used to say HAVE 1/2 my witts about me) and not trying to go to work, and worry about where the kid is, and deal with fights, and husband and pay bills and other life worries with scrambled eggs for brains. It just gets to be too much. I had a stroke. The stress is incredible. The stroke was wild. I'm lucky I'm not twisted up or in a chair or something. Between thinking I was having a heart attack and then having that? Being nearly bald -honestly? The only thing that kept me sane WAS my therapist. It was finally like having someone - SOMEONE who was whispering answers in my ear that gave me the right things to say to everyone so 1.) I didn't sound like I was going off my nut and 2.) I did get the people in my house motivated. I felt like freakin Harry Potter. No joke. I wasn't waving a wand - but it was as close to magic as I came in my life. --Just soze ya know - It does NOT work for you scrub the toilet, give me all your money and can I have a donkey? Anyway - I was thinking of you today and wondering how my nephew was doing - and, well? I see. So anyway keep us posted and let us know if you need anything. Daisyface made me laugh when she said she showed the therapist all their certificates - only because we did too.....OMWord I thought ----I can copy them or do you want me to take them off my office wall? They're framed! lol. Take care kiddo - Hugs & Love Star [/QUOTE]
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