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Substance Abuse
newbie, worried and anxious
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 559226" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Whatever, welcome. I'm sorry you are going through this with your brother, the situation is a tough one. As Kathy said, it certainly seems like the best option is to <em>not </em>respond and to learn to detach. It is a very difficult thing to do, you've come to a place where many of us here live in a constant state of detaching............or learning to detach. </p><p></p><p>Between the drugs, the alcohol, the mental issues and your brothers refusal to do anything to help himself, you and your parents are in the unenviable and difficult position to let go...........not a position any of us want to be in, believe me. But, that's where you find yourself and you found us,.........others in similar places with loved ones......... it is what it is..............and the only advice I can offer is to find some support, a 12 step group, a therapist, NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) they have support groups for families. You and your parents have done everything you can do. And, any further enabling only serves to prolong the inevitable..........your brother needs to face up to natural consequences and find his own way. You've likely heard the definition of insanity, "doing the same thing and expecting different results." And when you do that, you do feel insane. </p><p></p><p>This is hard. When you love someone you want to help them, but the bottom line is you can't help them unless <em>they WANT to help themselves. </em> The hardest thing to do is to stop helping and detach. And, maybe he will find his way. Maybe not.</p><p></p><p>Here is a good article on detachment.........</p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.livestrong.com/article/14712-developing-detachment" target="_blank">http://www.livestrong.com/article/14...ing-detachment</a></p><p></p><p>Keep posting, it helps. </p><p><span style="color: #000000"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"></span>Perhaps you and your parents can read it and discuss it and look at options for support for the three of you. I hope you and your family can find peace. (((HUGS))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 559226, member: 13542"] Whatever, welcome. I'm sorry you are going through this with your brother, the situation is a tough one. As Kathy said, it certainly seems like the best option is to [I]not [/I]respond and to learn to detach. It is a very difficult thing to do, you've come to a place where many of us here live in a constant state of detaching............or learning to detach. Between the drugs, the alcohol, the mental issues and your brothers refusal to do anything to help himself, you and your parents are in the unenviable and difficult position to let go...........not a position any of us want to be in, believe me. But, that's where you find yourself and you found us,.........others in similar places with loved ones......... it is what it is..............and the only advice I can offer is to find some support, a 12 step group, a therapist, NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) they have support groups for families. You and your parents have done everything you can do. And, any further enabling only serves to prolong the inevitable..........your brother needs to face up to natural consequences and find his own way. You've likely heard the definition of insanity, "doing the same thing and expecting different results." And when you do that, you do feel insane. This is hard. When you love someone you want to help them, but the bottom line is you can't help them unless [I]they WANT to help themselves. [/I] The hardest thing to do is to stop helping and detach. And, maybe he will find his way. Maybe not. Here is a good article on detachment......... [URL="http://www.livestrong.com/article/14712-developing-detachment"]http://www.livestrong.com/article/14...ing-detachment[/URL] Keep posting, it helps. [COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR]Perhaps you and your parents can read it and discuss it and look at options for support for the three of you. I hope you and your family can find peace. (((HUGS)))) [/QUOTE]
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