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Nice 11 yo Boy with- Big Passive Aggressive Problems
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 150288" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Welcome, wonderfulstepmother,</p><p> </p><p>You are FAR from wicked. You are very caring, to have taken this child into your heart (andit is clear you have) and to keep trying and trying.</p><p> </p><p>I think it may be time to find a Children's Hospital and have them do a full physical, neurological, psychiatric, psychological, and neuropsychological workup. I might even throw in a developmental pediatrician workup to see what is going on.</p><p> </p><p>You really HAVE held off a long time with these behaviors. I don'thave a clue what is wrong, but strongly see that SOMETHING is wrong.</p><p> </p><p>Do you go to appts with your husband? Can you take your son to some of hte appts for testing with-o your husband? Or must it be your husband because the step-issue? I don't have this issue, so I don't know how it works.</p><p> </p><p>NO ONE here will flame you for occasionally smacking him. You know it doesn't work, but sometimes it seems like it might be worth a try, Know what I mean??? But with all his abuse allegations, it might be time to do what you can to not smack. </p><p> </p><p>I have to say, personally, I would be having docs test for any/every thing they could think of - rule out EVERY kind of physical problem. Just to maybe find out what is going on. But I know it can be terribly expensive.</p><p> </p><p>I am sorry you have this to deal with. It is much harder to get help when they are not overtly a problem.</p><p> </p><p>What do you do when he throws away his shoes? Have you ever taken him to go find them? I am just curious here, this seems so strange. </p><p> </p><p>There is a thread on the forum about a Parent Report. It is a document YOU create showing what is going on, has gone on, what tests, behavior mod plans, etc have been tried. You take it to every meeting, with copies for docs, etc.... Just be careful who you give copies to, not everyone will use the info appropriately.</p><p> </p><p>I also wanted to comment as shortly as I am capable (I can be a tad wordy, as you can see - sorry) about holding off on medications as long as possible.</p><p> </p><p>with some disorders, holding off on medications is NOT a good idea. with bipolar the cycles create neurological pathways in the brain that actually CHANGE the brain and how it works. If left untreated, SOME bipolars can become sort of "addicted" to the manic stage. It can get to a point where it is very hard to treat with medications because the brain has changed so much. So holding off is NOT always the best idea, though medications are NOT for every one, esp every child.</p><p> </p><p>Psychiatric/psychological diagnosis are very subjective. It is nto like a blood test where you can clearly see what is going on. You may have one or thirty docs "rule out" something, then find that that something is really the problem. A lotof parenting our kids is following the mommy instincts until you find a way to help. when push comes to shove, trust your mommy instincts (and dad's daddy instincts) WAY more than ANY doctor. The doctor sees your kid for a few minutes - YOU see every day. YOU are the EXPERT on your children, NOT someone who went to school and got some degrees. You need their help, but if you think they are wrong, then keep pushing 'til you find a doctor who CAN help.</p><p> </p><p>Hugs,</p><p> </p><p>susie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 150288, member: 1233"] Welcome, wonderfulstepmother, You are FAR from wicked. You are very caring, to have taken this child into your heart (andit is clear you have) and to keep trying and trying. I think it may be time to find a Children's Hospital and have them do a full physical, neurological, psychiatric, psychological, and neuropsychological workup. I might even throw in a developmental pediatrician workup to see what is going on. You really HAVE held off a long time with these behaviors. I don'thave a clue what is wrong, but strongly see that SOMETHING is wrong. Do you go to appts with your husband? Can you take your son to some of hte appts for testing with-o your husband? Or must it be your husband because the step-issue? I don't have this issue, so I don't know how it works. NO ONE here will flame you for occasionally smacking him. You know it doesn't work, but sometimes it seems like it might be worth a try, Know what I mean??? But with all his abuse allegations, it might be time to do what you can to not smack. I have to say, personally, I would be having docs test for any/every thing they could think of - rule out EVERY kind of physical problem. Just to maybe find out what is going on. But I know it can be terribly expensive. I am sorry you have this to deal with. It is much harder to get help when they are not overtly a problem. What do you do when he throws away his shoes? Have you ever taken him to go find them? I am just curious here, this seems so strange. There is a thread on the forum about a Parent Report. It is a document YOU create showing what is going on, has gone on, what tests, behavior mod plans, etc have been tried. You take it to every meeting, with copies for docs, etc.... Just be careful who you give copies to, not everyone will use the info appropriately. I also wanted to comment as shortly as I am capable (I can be a tad wordy, as you can see - sorry) about holding off on medications as long as possible. with some disorders, holding off on medications is NOT a good idea. with bipolar the cycles create neurological pathways in the brain that actually CHANGE the brain and how it works. If left untreated, SOME bipolars can become sort of "addicted" to the manic stage. It can get to a point where it is very hard to treat with medications because the brain has changed so much. So holding off is NOT always the best idea, though medications are NOT for every one, esp every child. Psychiatric/psychological diagnosis are very subjective. It is nto like a blood test where you can clearly see what is going on. You may have one or thirty docs "rule out" something, then find that that something is really the problem. A lotof parenting our kids is following the mommy instincts until you find a way to help. when push comes to shove, trust your mommy instincts (and dad's daddy instincts) WAY more than ANY doctor. The doctor sees your kid for a few minutes - YOU see every day. YOU are the EXPERT on your children, NOT someone who went to school and got some degrees. You need their help, but if you think they are wrong, then keep pushing 'til you find a doctor who CAN help. Hugs, susie [/QUOTE]
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