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Parent Emeritus
no contact difficult child reaching out
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 606577" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I hear ya tired..............I don't think we would be human if we didn't on occasion "snap back" into our own fears about their choices.......geez, we are their mothers.............I think it's more about NOT ACTING on those feelings, not jumping into action and saving them............we still hurt for them and feel sad, but we don't respond by enabling them. My heart will always have a certain ache there for my only child............but recognizing the truth of my own powerlessness is what frees me from the enmeshment. We can't save them from themselves, if we could have, we would have.............we know now we can't. </p><p></p><p>Perhaps that year of no contact with your son was necessary for both of you to break the spell so you could actually see that 'his life is completely separate from yours." It seems to have worked in your favor, even though it may have been a negative choice on his part.</p><p></p><p>Good job Tired. We're all hanging in there as best we can...........it feels good to laugh a lot more now......</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 606577, member: 13542"] I hear ya tired..............I don't think we would be human if we didn't on occasion "snap back" into our own fears about their choices.......geez, we are their mothers.............I think it's more about NOT ACTING on those feelings, not jumping into action and saving them............we still hurt for them and feel sad, but we don't respond by enabling them. My heart will always have a certain ache there for my only child............but recognizing the truth of my own powerlessness is what frees me from the enmeshment. We can't save them from themselves, if we could have, we would have.............we know now we can't. Perhaps that year of no contact with your son was necessary for both of you to break the spell so you could actually see that 'his life is completely separate from yours." It seems to have worked in your favor, even though it may have been a negative choice on his part. Good job Tired. We're all hanging in there as best we can...........it feels good to laugh a lot more now...... [/QUOTE]
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