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No help from Daycare - been kicked out of 3 in 2 yrs!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 471764" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Hi, welcome. It really stinks when no one can "handle" your child not only because of the challenges with work but because it makes one feel like they are not doing something right. Well that is true, but it is not YOU! I dont know where you live but where I live (I am an Speech Language Pathologist (SLP)/worked in schools mostly but also owned a daycare for 10 years and NEVER once kicked a kid out, lots of special needs kids in my care way beyond what you are describing).....In our state, daycare #2 especially would have lost their license for not having a qualified teacher in the class. Daycare teachers here do not need 4 year teaching degrees but they do need lead teacher qualification so must have attended some kind of training program usually a 2 year. Many are fully licensed teachers who just can't find jobs or prefer daycare settings. I am sorry for you if your state does not require that. Your daughter is better off without them.</p><p></p><p>I am sure many of us are going to ask lots of questions, please dont take offense, WE HAVE BEEN THERE, so it is only in attempt to help you sort thru things. you say she loves to play with kids....can you describe the play. Does she do creative/imaginative play? Or is it more copying of her favorite characters, using a baby doll only as a real baby...feeding/changing etc... or copying what you model? Or, does she only do side by side play like chase games at a park, playing with building toys that the kids share, activities like riding bikes, swimming etc...where you have silly fun side by side? Does she mostly following friends around etc?</p><p></p><p>In general, if she is your only child, does she have to cope with not getting her way much? We naturally set up our lives in ways that please our kids and sometimes they just dont have to face the same challenges at home that are required in a school/daycare...NOT saying she is indulged...it may be just that you are in tune to her needs, preferences and you know how to head off frustration before it even happens. </p><p></p><p>I am going to take a guess and say that I will not be the only one to suggest.....While the behavior therapist may be a perfect tool for right now, while you are working with her, you may want to get a complete Neuropsychological Evaluation. This kind of evaluation can help sort through any underlying causes that may be treated. I know she is only 4 but one thing that is not opinion, it is fact, is that early appropriate intervention makes a huge difference in how the future plays out. Unfortunately, even if you try to avoid a label or diagnosis your child WILL be labeled by staff, and if is not the appropriate label that can receive support and help (and protection thru ADA for her civil rights)...then it will be an inappropriate label like ..."bad", incorrigible, disruptive, brat, rude, out of control kid, along with--must have a problem at home, etc. </p><p></p><p>I had a principal tell me once that she had never in her career had a child like mine. OH, really??? i had worked in public schools for nearly 20 years at that point and I had worked with kids much more difficult. Just because people have lived their work lives in a little box doesn't mean your child is the one who does not fit the mold in society. </p><p></p><p>Unfortunately, there are many special challenges that are very subtle and not easy for a doctor or general psychiatrist or psychologist to see. I would highly encourage you to have a complete neuropsychologist evaluation, an Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation and an Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) (speech language Pathology) evaluation. I know you said her vocabulary is large at a young age, that can actually be a red flag for some things.... It is not that she can't communicate but maybe has some subtle communication challenges in social settings, or some langauge processing issues that could be affecting her. Of course vision, hearing etc. all need to be checked just in case. </p><p></p><p>You are about to get a bunch of ideas here...so hold on for the ride...it is all out of sincere LOVE and wanting the best for you because we know the feeling of being desperate to help our children.</p><p></p><p>Another place to check is your school districts Early Childhood Special Education (ECSE) department. They can hear your story and do a free evaluation to help you. Still do the private one if you can...but they can offer placement and if she qualifies for Special Education she will get transportation and paid placement in a preschool program with support for her challenges.</p><p></p><p>I have now quit working out of the home and am only paid thru my son's insurance to care for him. There is no such thing as daycare for a child like mine especially at his age. Just realize you may have to adjust your life dramatically as things go along....probably not but just be aware.</p><p></p><p>While you are checking on assessments etc... Is it an option for you to hire a nanny and then arrange for other shorter times for socialization? Like library story time, play groups, gymboree, swimming/dance/skating/art classes???</p><p></p><p>and fyi...I HATE forced nap times. Often it is a licensing requirement to have that time, but usually there are time limits that the center is supposed to follow, if not asleep by a certain time (like 20 minutes) they must be offered a place to go to read or watch a movie etc. while the other kids sleep. Kids are not supposed to be forced to stay on a cot for hours. that is crazy, I can see why you-and she- got angry</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 471764, member: 12886"] Hi, welcome. It really stinks when no one can "handle" your child not only because of the challenges with work but because it makes one feel like they are not doing something right. Well that is true, but it is not YOU! I dont know where you live but where I live (I am an Speech Language Pathologist (SLP)/worked in schools mostly but also owned a daycare for 10 years and NEVER once kicked a kid out, lots of special needs kids in my care way beyond what you are describing).....In our state, daycare #2 especially would have lost their license for not having a qualified teacher in the class. Daycare teachers here do not need 4 year teaching degrees but they do need lead teacher qualification so must have attended some kind of training program usually a 2 year. Many are fully licensed teachers who just can't find jobs or prefer daycare settings. I am sorry for you if your state does not require that. Your daughter is better off without them. I am sure many of us are going to ask lots of questions, please dont take offense, WE HAVE BEEN THERE, so it is only in attempt to help you sort thru things. you say she loves to play with kids....can you describe the play. Does she do creative/imaginative play? Or is it more copying of her favorite characters, using a baby doll only as a real baby...feeding/changing etc... or copying what you model? Or, does she only do side by side play like chase games at a park, playing with building toys that the kids share, activities like riding bikes, swimming etc...where you have silly fun side by side? Does she mostly following friends around etc? In general, if she is your only child, does she have to cope with not getting her way much? We naturally set up our lives in ways that please our kids and sometimes they just dont have to face the same challenges at home that are required in a school/daycare...NOT saying she is indulged...it may be just that you are in tune to her needs, preferences and you know how to head off frustration before it even happens. I am going to take a guess and say that I will not be the only one to suggest.....While the behavior therapist may be a perfect tool for right now, while you are working with her, you may want to get a complete Neuropsychological Evaluation. This kind of evaluation can help sort through any underlying causes that may be treated. I know she is only 4 but one thing that is not opinion, it is fact, is that early appropriate intervention makes a huge difference in how the future plays out. Unfortunately, even if you try to avoid a label or diagnosis your child WILL be labeled by staff, and if is not the appropriate label that can receive support and help (and protection thru ADA for her civil rights)...then it will be an inappropriate label like ..."bad", incorrigible, disruptive, brat, rude, out of control kid, along with--must have a problem at home, etc. I had a principal tell me once that she had never in her career had a child like mine. OH, really??? i had worked in public schools for nearly 20 years at that point and I had worked with kids much more difficult. Just because people have lived their work lives in a little box doesn't mean your child is the one who does not fit the mold in society. Unfortunately, there are many special challenges that are very subtle and not easy for a doctor or general psychiatrist or psychologist to see. I would highly encourage you to have a complete neuropsychologist evaluation, an Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation and an Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) (speech language Pathology) evaluation. I know you said her vocabulary is large at a young age, that can actually be a red flag for some things.... It is not that she can't communicate but maybe has some subtle communication challenges in social settings, or some langauge processing issues that could be affecting her. Of course vision, hearing etc. all need to be checked just in case. You are about to get a bunch of ideas here...so hold on for the ride...it is all out of sincere LOVE and wanting the best for you because we know the feeling of being desperate to help our children. Another place to check is your school districts Early Childhood Special Education (ECSE) department. They can hear your story and do a free evaluation to help you. Still do the private one if you can...but they can offer placement and if she qualifies for Special Education she will get transportation and paid placement in a preschool program with support for her challenges. I have now quit working out of the home and am only paid thru my son's insurance to care for him. There is no such thing as daycare for a child like mine especially at his age. Just realize you may have to adjust your life dramatically as things go along....probably not but just be aware. While you are checking on assessments etc... Is it an option for you to hire a nanny and then arrange for other shorter times for socialization? Like library story time, play groups, gymboree, swimming/dance/skating/art classes??? and fyi...I HATE forced nap times. Often it is a licensing requirement to have that time, but usually there are time limits that the center is supposed to follow, if not asleep by a certain time (like 20 minutes) they must be offered a place to go to read or watch a movie etc. while the other kids sleep. Kids are not supposed to be forced to stay on a cot for hours. that is crazy, I can see why you-and she- got angry [/QUOTE]
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No help from Daycare - been kicked out of 3 in 2 yrs!!!
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