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<blockquote data-quote="emotionallybankrupt" data-source="post: 317788" data-attributes="member: 8226"><p>Wow, it's very scary. Over and over, difficult child and I would--after the fact--talk over incidents, especially the range of possibilities that COULD have happened due to bad choices. "I never thought of that," or "I didn't know that," or "That isn't what I was trying to do"... would be the responses. </p><p> </p><p>I'd say, "I know; that's why God gave you a mother. You aren't supposed to know all that yet. You don't have the life experience to think of that...." Of course, none of those conversations did any good in my case. So often the SAME poor choice would be repeated over and over.</p><p> </p><p>difficult child gave me the scariest car situation ever, back in the summer. I still don't know how we got home safely and am so very thankful. She wasn't getting her way about something and was threatening to jump out of the vehicle if I didn't give in. She was in the back. I have a van, and she was up and walking toward the door. I was on a busy highway, in the middle lane, and going about 60. Could have been tragic. I know now that a van has locking mechanisms to prevent a child being able to open a back door, but I didn't have time to figure them out in that moment, and I'd not faced that situation before. I also know now that I could not have activated those mechanisms while driving the vehicle anyway. In her case, though, it would have been easy to simply climb on through to the front passenger seat, and I don't know of any child safety mechanism for that door.</p><p> </p><p>Once I got her home I told that that until she was able to explain to my satisfaction why she did that and why I should trust that it would never happen again, I would not take her anywhere outside the immediate small-town area unless she was cuffed. I had already checked with an officer about getting a pair.</p><p> </p><p>In the immediate area of my home, I don't know of anywhere I could be where I couldn't pull to the side of the road quickly. I know I'm fortunate to have a situation like that, though, and not everybody does. Obviously, it doesn't work to say you'll never take them ANYWHERE, because of needs like school, doctor, etc.</p><p> </p><p>However, I never drove into the city with her again, because she was never able to explain what she did or what I shouldn't expect the same behavior again if she didn't get her way. She was in disbelief that I continued to refuse, but yet she still couldn't explain herself so that I could feel like we would be safe. Honestly, she didn't even try. Like so many difficult child behaviors, it didn't match up, and I don't know why I continue to be surprised by that, but I am.</p><p> </p><p>I'm STILL not over what happened that day, and neither are the other three people who were in the van at the time. Of course, that was all part of difficult child's plan to get her way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="emotionallybankrupt, post: 317788, member: 8226"] Wow, it's very scary. Over and over, difficult child and I would--after the fact--talk over incidents, especially the range of possibilities that COULD have happened due to bad choices. "I never thought of that," or "I didn't know that," or "That isn't what I was trying to do"... would be the responses. I'd say, "I know; that's why God gave you a mother. You aren't supposed to know all that yet. You don't have the life experience to think of that...." Of course, none of those conversations did any good in my case. So often the SAME poor choice would be repeated over and over. difficult child gave me the scariest car situation ever, back in the summer. I still don't know how we got home safely and am so very thankful. She wasn't getting her way about something and was threatening to jump out of the vehicle if I didn't give in. She was in the back. I have a van, and she was up and walking toward the door. I was on a busy highway, in the middle lane, and going about 60. Could have been tragic. I know now that a van has locking mechanisms to prevent a child being able to open a back door, but I didn't have time to figure them out in that moment, and I'd not faced that situation before. I also know now that I could not have activated those mechanisms while driving the vehicle anyway. In her case, though, it would have been easy to simply climb on through to the front passenger seat, and I don't know of any child safety mechanism for that door. Once I got her home I told that that until she was able to explain to my satisfaction why she did that and why I should trust that it would never happen again, I would not take her anywhere outside the immediate small-town area unless she was cuffed. I had already checked with an officer about getting a pair. In the immediate area of my home, I don't know of anywhere I could be where I couldn't pull to the side of the road quickly. I know I'm fortunate to have a situation like that, though, and not everybody does. Obviously, it doesn't work to say you'll never take them ANYWHERE, because of needs like school, doctor, etc. However, I never drove into the city with her again, because she was never able to explain what she did or what I shouldn't expect the same behavior again if she didn't get her way. She was in disbelief that I continued to refuse, but yet she still couldn't explain herself so that I could feel like we would be safe. Honestly, she didn't even try. Like so many difficult child behaviors, it didn't match up, and I don't know why I continue to be surprised by that, but I am. I'm STILL not over what happened that day, and neither are the other three people who were in the van at the time. Of course, that was all part of difficult child's plan to get her way. [/QUOTE]
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