No support--guess I'm in the wrong place

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by sheepdoglover, Jul 27, 2011.

  1. I'm a bit confused. Every post here has been answered, sometimes up to 17 times, and yet mine has been completely ignored. If I am on the wrong board, please let me know. My child is a teenager with bipolar, ADHD, learning disabilities, and a conduct disorder. If I am on the right board, and you just didn't like my question, I'm sorry.
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sheepdoglover-You are definitely in the right place! I'm sorry you haven't received any replies yet. I'm sure it has nothing to do with you at all! I'm sorry I don't have the time right now to look at your other post (have to pick up my easy child/difficult child from summer school) but I will be reading it when I'm on the board later today. This really is a soft place to land; please don't give up on us! Hugs.
  3. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Don't get discouraged. Sometimes life gets in the way or some of us feel that we don't have anything useful to say.
    Many of the multiple answered threads are usually a difficult child whose particular drama/current story is being followed.
    Please just keep asking questions. I'm sure there are lots of suggestions that can be made by members. After all, they were all new once and others reached out to them.
  4. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip


    I'll be honest, I didn't even SEE your other post. (My life has gotten nuts lately, so I haven't been responding to others' posts much.)

    Please, please don't give up on us! Life with our difficult children can be overwhelming as you know - my SD is bipolar, SS developmentally delayed... Yeah.

    I'll go find your other post. *hugs*
  5. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    As time goes on, you will find that there are certain days and sometimes certain times of day that are "busy" on the board. You only started your thread this morning. As many have said already, summers are busy and dealing with difficult child's makes it even busier. Please give us a chance. I only ask that you be patient with us. You HAVE come to the right place.

  6. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    and Ditto.

    Its summer, we're all going nuts, and if the others are anything like me at this time of year, I have time to read about 3 posts a day - IF I have access to a computer that day... and if yours isn't "in my face" on the thread I happen to look at today, I might not see it. Anything I see and know anything at all about (sometimes even if I don't), and especially if its someone new, I usually jump on... at least to let the poster know that someone is around...

    So... some of the others will be activating those posts... and I'll try and keep an eye out for your posts...

    Welcome to the board, by the way...
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Did you ask if lithium will take care of conduct disorder?
    If so, I wasn't sure how to answer.
    Lithium will help bipolar moods. I am not sure it would help conduct disorder, but he may behave a LOT better once he is on good medication! :)
    Welcome to the board.
  8. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Hi sheepdog!

    I also have not seen your post, so sorry. If you wouldn't mind, could you reintroduce yourself to us, and briefly tell us your story? It will also help if you could fill out a signature, so that we can easily remember your family and issues. Welcome and I hope that you can find relief and support here like so many others have.
  9. runawaybunny

    runawaybunny Guest

    Unfortunately she was so upset that she sent an email asking to delete her account...
  10. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    :sorrysmiley: I didn't see it until late and replied on her other one. Was her request sent after her replies there?
  11. runawaybunny

    runawaybunny Guest

    Yes, the delete my account request came after the other thread was active. She has so much going on in her life that I can see why her patience was worn thin.

    Hopefully when she has some time to decompress she will register a new account give us another try.
  12. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I hope she tries again, too.

    I've "been there" - so frazzled that I was taking every minor delay and hitch in life as a direct personal slap.

    This is when we really need the forum... but I didn't find it until I was past the worst.
  13. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    I looked at her original post that she made that morning and by about noon she had gotten several replies. Maybe she just didn't see them? I hope she comes back.
  14. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I've been fairly absent lately. difficult child 3 has work experience at his school, which has meant me driving him there (in the centre of Sydney) and I'm wiped out. I have only incoming email access while at the school, I can't even look at any forums. Then when I get home (well after sunset at the moment) it's hit the ground running to get dinner organised at mother in law's where we also have no internet access.

    I've taken today off. difficult child 3 has taken himself into school by public transport for the first time ever. He just rang me to let me know he had arrived (early) otherwise I wouldn't be here even now.

    I have missed you guys!

    I do remember when I first joined the site, feeling resentful at times because other people got more responses than I did. My queries were very specific, were desperate cries for help but were also discussing an education system which is foreign for most of you. It took me some time to realise that sometimes, the questions we ask do not have easy answers and responses with "hugs" or general support, while comforting on one level, can still be very frustrating when you still don't know what to do in your situation.

    What I did find from this group - I read other threads, I searched for similar cases and it gave me enough clues to go digging in our own education system. This group gave me the courage to see my child in a different light, to not see him as the source of the problems but perhaps as having problems due to other people's inability to adapt and accommodate his needs as they legally were required to do.

    Other reasons I personally don't respond -
    1) I might not know enough about those particular issues. For example, someone posting about specific social security issues in a particular US state.

    2) I might have no understanding or insight on a particular problem, such as a child with obvious psychotic breaks. But even where there is doubt, I have seen too many misunderstandings over a child who simply reports experiences differently (perhaps due to social deficits or sensory issues) to be comfortable with what I see as a too-rapid assumption that a child is OF COURSE having a psychotic break. It is very easy to label a child. As a result, we know that often the first labels are incorrect. But some labels are very hard to remove and can have serious repercussions if applied incorrectly. But I know my views are also tempered by where I live and the different customs here, so sometimes I choose to just shut up and try to close my eyes, in threads where I feel my words will only trigger distress.

    3) Sometimes I get a 'feel' for a particular person (clearly not this time!) and choose to not respond because my responses in the past were either totally dismissed (which is the right of the individual, of course) or immediately discounted. When that person posts again with the same problem, and again people advise the same things, and again it is ignored - I learn to avoid wasting my time. But that is rare here.

    4) And the final reason - sometimes I have to get out and live my life, and have only very limited minutes I can spend here. So then I respond only to the threads that catch my eye, where I feel my experience will be most relevant.

    Failure to respond does not always mean we don't care. And especially in the beginning, when there is a delay before your posts are put up, you can feel very lonely and desperate.

    Cheryl, if she comes back that will be good. But if she doesn't, then we need to realise that sometimes people need to keep looking for something that is more specific to their needs.

    We do what we do. That is the nature of forums. We also work together where we can to help someone. I've been messaged at times, when a member wants me to have a look at a particular thread because after all these years, people know me well enough to know when I might have something of value to say to someone.

    Persistence is important for parents, as well as for people on this site. If at first you don't succeed - try again.