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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 451735" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p>No, you're not being too emotional, neither is your Mom being cold.</p><p></p><p>The "standard" for grief is bawling your eyes out for a few days, then going on. That's not how life works. Everyone's different.</p><p></p><p>Your grandmother, H, your Dad - she had a different relationship with them than you did.</p><p></p><p>I can use bio mom as an example - the first night, O was teary and angry. By the second night, she was "up". And since, she's been angry and demanding. No more tears.</p><p></p><p>J, on the other hand? Bored by the hullabaloo. Cried once, after bio's friend got abusive on the phone with me then husband. Long story.</p><p></p><p>At the funeral, J was busy trying to cheer everyone up - his words. I told him that must have been difficult. He said he made O mad - "better mad than sad right?" Well maybe - but I've seen O's rages... He knew he did not have to come home with her.</p><p></p><p>He told my Dad the other day he missed SF and bio's friend 'cause they "had his back" on his video games. Me, yesterday, that bio wasn't home much and SF and friend played lots of video games with him.</p><p></p><p>Very different reactions from siblings. Honestly, for years bio showered attention on O (good and bad) and pretty much ignored J. Then, when O went against her, she was cut off - until suddenly O was against husband and knew bio would help her. So O has the loss of attention (and spoiling, I daresay). J has the loss of video game partners - but shortly before bio's death, husband and he found a game they can play together. So he's cool.</p><p></p><p>I think it's individual, sweetheart. And Elizabeth Kubler-Ross does have some very good books.</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/hugs.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hugs:" title="hugs :hugs:" data-shortname=":hugs:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 451735, member: 6705"] No, you're not being too emotional, neither is your Mom being cold. The "standard" for grief is bawling your eyes out for a few days, then going on. That's not how life works. Everyone's different. Your grandmother, H, your Dad - she had a different relationship with them than you did. I can use bio mom as an example - the first night, O was teary and angry. By the second night, she was "up". And since, she's been angry and demanding. No more tears. J, on the other hand? Bored by the hullabaloo. Cried once, after bio's friend got abusive on the phone with me then husband. Long story. At the funeral, J was busy trying to cheer everyone up - his words. I told him that must have been difficult. He said he made O mad - "better mad than sad right?" Well maybe - but I've seen O's rages... He knew he did not have to come home with her. He told my Dad the other day he missed SF and bio's friend 'cause they "had his back" on his video games. Me, yesterday, that bio wasn't home much and SF and friend played lots of video games with him. Very different reactions from siblings. Honestly, for years bio showered attention on O (good and bad) and pretty much ignored J. Then, when O went against her, she was cut off - until suddenly O was against husband and knew bio would help her. So O has the loss of attention (and spoiling, I daresay). J has the loss of video game partners - but shortly before bio's death, husband and he found a game they can play together. So he's cool. I think it's individual, sweetheart. And Elizabeth Kubler-Ross does have some very good books. :hugs: [/QUOTE]
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