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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 451737" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px">I may be completely off, but perhaps in her 68 years of life she has learned to compartmentalize her feelings, her reactons, her emotions. Perhaps after raising her children and putting up with typical children garbage as well as your father being a 'butt', she is able to quietly grieve, in her own way, and then move on. </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px">My mother in law is NOT warm or friendly or young thinking. She is the original ice queen. When we were recently at my father in law's funeral, H's brother asked if anyone remembered to bring tissues. Before I could say anything, mother in law blurt out, "We won't be needing those. We're strong people." H's sister responded with, "Speak for yourself" and gave a chuckle. While her children and me were off and on weeping throughout the service, mother in law's eyes were dry. However, for all of us, this was expected - that's just the way she is. Very stoic. Not vivacious, not out there living her life. on the other hand, I do think she will enjoy being alone for a while. I think she will enjoy not catering to her H or listening to his drunken snores or big mouth having to be the center of attention. But that's my take. </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px">In your case, perhaps you are overly emotional. Maybe you hang on to things too long. Maybe there is a part of you that simply cannot let go in the way your mom seemingly has. I don't know your mom, but taking into account the way I am emotionally, I would venture to guess that she IS feeling a loss and IS grieving in her own way, away from you. My guess is that because you are so expressive about the losses you've shared, she tries to temper your reactions in this way. </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px">Years ago, I was told that I'm overly emotional. Compared to my sister, I'm a stone. I worked on my emotional repsonses in counseling and have been able to find some middle ground. I do tend to be more introspective and private, unlike my sisters, but when I'm comfortable and feel safe, or simply cannot help myself, I will let go. </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px">If you haven't already had a discussion about it, perhaps you should ask your mother how she is able to process the losses and move on so freely. It may be beneficial to you.</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 451737, member: 2211"] [COLOR=#008080][SIZE=2]I may be completely off, but perhaps in her 68 years of life she has learned to compartmentalize her feelings, her reactons, her emotions. Perhaps after raising her children and putting up with typical children garbage as well as your father being a 'butt', she is able to quietly grieve, in her own way, and then move on. My mother in law is NOT warm or friendly or young thinking. She is the original ice queen. When we were recently at my father in law's funeral, H's brother asked if anyone remembered to bring tissues. Before I could say anything, mother in law blurt out, "We won't be needing those. We're strong people." H's sister responded with, "Speak for yourself" and gave a chuckle. While her children and me were off and on weeping throughout the service, mother in law's eyes were dry. However, for all of us, this was expected - that's just the way she is. Very stoic. Not vivacious, not out there living her life. on the other hand, I do think she will enjoy being alone for a while. I think she will enjoy not catering to her H or listening to his drunken snores or big mouth having to be the center of attention. But that's my take. In your case, perhaps you are overly emotional. Maybe you hang on to things too long. Maybe there is a part of you that simply cannot let go in the way your mom seemingly has. I don't know your mom, but taking into account the way I am emotionally, I would venture to guess that she IS feeling a loss and IS grieving in her own way, away from you. My guess is that because you are so expressive about the losses you've shared, she tries to temper your reactions in this way. Years ago, I was told that I'm overly emotional. Compared to my sister, I'm a stone. I worked on my emotional repsonses in counseling and have been able to find some middle ground. I do tend to be more introspective and private, unlike my sisters, but when I'm comfortable and feel safe, or simply cannot help myself, I will let go. If you haven't already had a discussion about it, perhaps you should ask your mother how she is able to process the losses and move on so freely. It may be beneficial to you.[/SIZE][/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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