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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 451831" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Well. I'm not sure. It could just be her personality. Or it could be the way she looks at life.</p><p></p><p>I'm not a crier. Let's just say it's a rare event. I'm definitely not a crier in public.....that would be even rarer still. (I can think of twice maybe 3 times) "public" to me means around people, including husband whom I've been married to for nearly 30 yrs.</p><p></p><p>And I don't seem to look at death the way other people do, never have. I don't know why. There is a loss, yes, but it's also a natural part of life as well. And I view and accept it as such. I do grieve, it's just not what other people would typically view as grieving. I move through the stages fairly quickly and then move on. That is not to say that at certain times it won't touch me again and make me sad or a bit teary eyed. But I just go back to living. </p><p></p><p>I have had people who react to my non reaction. At mother in law's funeral there were no tears from me. I was sad. I was grieving. But to look at me you'd never known it. My sister in law was bawling....and it made me feel sort of awkward because I wasn't. But I'm just not like that. Doesn't mean I loved her any less or would miss mother in law any less. </p><p></p><p>Sometimes I wonder if my view of death is the way it is because the vast majority of my childhood was spent with the elderly; my grandma and her friends as well as the nursing home residents where my mom worked. </p><p></p><p>I do remember my grandma telling me not to cry for her when she was gone. I was to remember all the good times and hold them close and she'd always be with me. I mean she really drilled this into my head, maybe more than she should have now that I think about it. But we were literally inseparable and I think she feared what effect losing her would have on me. I remember the other older people I knew discussing death and dying too. </p><p></p><p>So I dunno. I do think every person's view of death and their reaction to it is different though.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 451831, member: 84"] Well. I'm not sure. It could just be her personality. Or it could be the way she looks at life. I'm not a crier. Let's just say it's a rare event. I'm definitely not a crier in public.....that would be even rarer still. (I can think of twice maybe 3 times) "public" to me means around people, including husband whom I've been married to for nearly 30 yrs. And I don't seem to look at death the way other people do, never have. I don't know why. There is a loss, yes, but it's also a natural part of life as well. And I view and accept it as such. I do grieve, it's just not what other people would typically view as grieving. I move through the stages fairly quickly and then move on. That is not to say that at certain times it won't touch me again and make me sad or a bit teary eyed. But I just go back to living. I have had people who react to my non reaction. At mother in law's funeral there were no tears from me. I was sad. I was grieving. But to look at me you'd never known it. My sister in law was bawling....and it made me feel sort of awkward because I wasn't. But I'm just not like that. Doesn't mean I loved her any less or would miss mother in law any less. Sometimes I wonder if my view of death is the way it is because the vast majority of my childhood was spent with the elderly; my grandma and her friends as well as the nursing home residents where my mom worked. I do remember my grandma telling me not to cry for her when she was gone. I was to remember all the good times and hold them close and she'd always be with me. I mean she really drilled this into my head, maybe more than she should have now that I think about it. But we were literally inseparable and I think she feared what effect losing her would have on me. I remember the other older people I knew discussing death and dying too. So I dunno. I do think every person's view of death and their reaction to it is different though. [/QUOTE]
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