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Substance Abuse
Not a good report
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<blockquote data-quote="in a daze" data-source="post: 687948" data-attributes="member: 15832"><p>R, it takes months for the brain to change after they've stopped using. 3 months is not a lot of time to be sober. Don't expect the entitlement and the denial that he isn't one of "them" to change .overnight. It's still pretty early in the game.</p><p></p><p>That he works 36 hours a week....amazing! Many of our kids can't even sit down at a computer and fill out job applications, let alone keep a job. Mine was let go from his first program because he wouldn't look for a job. It's one good sign.</p><p></p><p>I'm really surprised that meetings aren't mandatory at the sober house he's at.</p><p></p><p>The only thing you can really do at this point is to stick to your boundaries and keep repeating them whenever he brings them up. It is especially important for you, as the mom and the parent he may see as the less strict one, to be kind but firm with him. This will send a very strong message that the two of you are united and that one cannot be played against the other.</p><p></p><p>That's a good idea to step away and let husband do most of the talking. </p><p></p><p>It is so very, very hard for a mom to listen to her son complain. It is so hard on us when our adult kids are not happy. </p><p></p><p><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="in a daze, post: 687948, member: 15832"] R, it takes months for the brain to change after they've stopped using. 3 months is not a lot of time to be sober. Don't expect the entitlement and the denial that he isn't one of "them" to change .overnight. It's still pretty early in the game. That he works 36 hours a week....amazing! Many of our kids can't even sit down at a computer and fill out job applications, let alone keep a job. Mine was let go from his first program because he wouldn't look for a job. It's one good sign. I'm really surprised that meetings aren't mandatory at the sober house he's at. The only thing you can really do at this point is to stick to your boundaries and keep repeating them whenever he brings them up. It is especially important for you, as the mom and the parent he may see as the less strict one, to be kind but firm with him. This will send a very strong message that the two of you are united and that one cannot be played against the other. That's a good idea to step away and let husband do most of the talking. It is so very, very hard for a mom to listen to her son complain. It is so hard on us when our adult kids are not happy. :) [/QUOTE]
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