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Not coping well, missing my difficult child and heartsick that he doesn't care.
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 472214"><p>Signorina,</p><p></p><p>First of all hugs. I think even under normal circumstances it is hard for us moms to let our children go. I was talking to my husband the other day saying I wish my son would call and he commented that he didn't call him mom much when he was that age. It struck me when I thought about it, I didn't think about my parents all that much when I was that age either. I talked to my mom fairly often but it was because I wanted something from her, not because I was thinking about her! I just think part of the normal separation form your parents, is moving on and not thinking about them much. It is hard for us mothers because of course we think abou tthem all the time.</p><p></p><p>OK So I understand this is not a "normal" situation..... but i am confident from what you have said that eventually your son will be in touch with you, will connect with you. This is not a forever thing. You are keeping the door open which is good. My guess is that since he is not contacting you things are going well... if he gets in trouble or really needs something my guess is he will call you.</p><p></p><p>At least that is how it was with my son. He didn't call us at first when we kicked him out, but he called when he was arrested. We kept the door open, and when he kept getting in trouble he called us. Yesterday was the first time in 3 weeks that he called.... but it was also the first time he called without asking us for something!!!</p><p></p><p>The fact that your son called and had a conversation with you for 40 minutes is amazing. The fact that he sent you a text when his brother said he needed to is huge. This doesn't sound like a kid who is super angry, never going to speak to you again.... this is a kid who is trying to build his own life and is needing to separate from his parents.</p><p></p><p>So trust the relationship you had in the past... and enjoy your life with your 14 year old for now. Continue to keep the door open here and there without overdoing it. Let him know you care now and then (no more than once a week probably). </p><p></p><p>Hugs ... it is hard.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 472214"] Signorina, First of all hugs. I think even under normal circumstances it is hard for us moms to let our children go. I was talking to my husband the other day saying I wish my son would call and he commented that he didn't call him mom much when he was that age. It struck me when I thought about it, I didn't think about my parents all that much when I was that age either. I talked to my mom fairly often but it was because I wanted something from her, not because I was thinking about her! I just think part of the normal separation form your parents, is moving on and not thinking about them much. It is hard for us mothers because of course we think abou tthem all the time. OK So I understand this is not a "normal" situation..... but i am confident from what you have said that eventually your son will be in touch with you, will connect with you. This is not a forever thing. You are keeping the door open which is good. My guess is that since he is not contacting you things are going well... if he gets in trouble or really needs something my guess is he will call you. At least that is how it was with my son. He didn't call us at first when we kicked him out, but he called when he was arrested. We kept the door open, and when he kept getting in trouble he called us. Yesterday was the first time in 3 weeks that he called.... but it was also the first time he called without asking us for something!!! The fact that your son called and had a conversation with you for 40 minutes is amazing. The fact that he sent you a text when his brother said he needed to is huge. This doesn't sound like a kid who is super angry, never going to speak to you again.... this is a kid who is trying to build his own life and is needing to separate from his parents. So trust the relationship you had in the past... and enjoy your life with your 14 year old for now. Continue to keep the door open here and there without overdoing it. Let him know you care now and then (no more than once a week probably). Hugs ... it is hard. TL [/QUOTE]
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Not coping well, missing my difficult child and heartsick that he doesn't care.
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