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Parent Emeritus
Not coping well, missing my difficult child and heartsick that he doesn't care.
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 472223" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>I'm sorry your heart is hurting so much. I agree that sons just don't call their moms very much. When my husband was in college he never called home and he loved his family very much. I know this is a completely different situation but he is being respectful to you when he does talk to you and he is planning on coming home for Thanksgiving so he is not distancing himself completely.</p><p></p><p>I know what you mean about wanting your happy family back. I went through that a few years ago but as I found out that was never to be the same again. So I had to make new family times. In all honesty our difficult child would not call here unless she needed something. We do what we ca to keep the door open so she feels comfortable enough to come to us when she needs to but she wants to live her life with no intereference from us.</p><p></p><p>If you are like me it's hard for you to give up control and when you don't hear from him you feel out of control. Trust in that silence. Sometimes no news is good news. Focus on your easy child and make special times with him. The last few years have been really difficult for me with all the problems we had with difficult child, but what I cherish most now is the peace and calm in the house. Holidays were awful so plan now to do something to make them special, different, and don't focus on what was before. I'm glad you are seeing the therapist. You can get through this, you have to because the next time he needs you you need to be strong. You have not heard the last from him. Stay positive and let him know you want him in yourlife in whatever terms he wants. Eventually he will come around I believe.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 472223, member: 59"] I'm sorry your heart is hurting so much. I agree that sons just don't call their moms very much. When my husband was in college he never called home and he loved his family very much. I know this is a completely different situation but he is being respectful to you when he does talk to you and he is planning on coming home for Thanksgiving so he is not distancing himself completely. I know what you mean about wanting your happy family back. I went through that a few years ago but as I found out that was never to be the same again. So I had to make new family times. In all honesty our difficult child would not call here unless she needed something. We do what we ca to keep the door open so she feels comfortable enough to come to us when she needs to but she wants to live her life with no intereference from us. If you are like me it's hard for you to give up control and when you don't hear from him you feel out of control. Trust in that silence. Sometimes no news is good news. Focus on your easy child and make special times with him. The last few years have been really difficult for me with all the problems we had with difficult child, but what I cherish most now is the peace and calm in the house. Holidays were awful so plan now to do something to make them special, different, and don't focus on what was before. I'm glad you are seeing the therapist. You can get through this, you have to because the next time he needs you you need to be strong. You have not heard the last from him. Stay positive and let him know you want him in yourlife in whatever terms he wants. Eventually he will come around I believe. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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Not coping well, missing my difficult child and heartsick that he doesn't care.
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