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Parent Emeritus
Not coping well, missing my difficult child and heartsick that he doesn't care.
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 472349" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>difficult child is an acronym for Gift From God which is what we call our challenging children.</p><p></p><p>Signorina,</p><p></p><p>I'm sure there is more to the story but from my point of view your difficult child is busy with college and his life and not giving you a second thought which is kind of normal. There may be an element that he is mad at you after you cut him off because of the drugs (which was the right thing to do) but that is normal, too. The fact that he does keep in touch at all and was surprised that you even questioned that he would be home for Thanksgiving seems like is wants to stay in your lives.</p><p></p><p>When my easy child went to college we hardly ever heard from her. . . an occasional phone call or text and home for the holidays. Now that she has graduated and is teaching and living on her own, she calls, emails, and texts all of the time. We have started meeting her for dinner every Friday and then easy child and I go shopping (husband goes home because he hates to shop). </p><p></p><p>We have a great time and the best relationship now. I think she needed the time away in college so she could grow up and become her own person. We never doubted that she loved us or wanted to be part of our family.</p><p></p><p>Of course, easy child never had any drug issues so it is not the same thing but I do think that there is an element of just normal growing up involved. My advice would be to give your difficult child space, be willing to talk when he's ready, and find yourself new interests that keep you busy and fulfilled.</p><p></p><p>Oh, and I would stay off Facebook. JMO . . .</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 472349, member: 1967"] difficult child is an acronym for Gift From God which is what we call our challenging children. Signorina, I'm sure there is more to the story but from my point of view your difficult child is busy with college and his life and not giving you a second thought which is kind of normal. There may be an element that he is mad at you after you cut him off because of the drugs (which was the right thing to do) but that is normal, too. The fact that he does keep in touch at all and was surprised that you even questioned that he would be home for Thanksgiving seems like is wants to stay in your lives. When my easy child went to college we hardly ever heard from her. . . an occasional phone call or text and home for the holidays. Now that she has graduated and is teaching and living on her own, she calls, emails, and texts all of the time. We have started meeting her for dinner every Friday and then easy child and I go shopping (husband goes home because he hates to shop). We have a great time and the best relationship now. I think she needed the time away in college so she could grow up and become her own person. We never doubted that she loved us or wanted to be part of our family. Of course, easy child never had any drug issues so it is not the same thing but I do think that there is an element of just normal growing up involved. My advice would be to give your difficult child space, be willing to talk when he's ready, and find yourself new interests that keep you busy and fulfilled. Oh, and I would stay off Facebook. JMO . . . ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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Not coping well, missing my difficult child and heartsick that he doesn't care.
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