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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 480265" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>I'm such a dork, I keep hitting reply to thread and losing my post! (after I write it all) What I did say a while ago was that I can really relate to that struggle between when to stick to a threatened consequence and when not to. I am really trying to avoid those kinds of threats only because I end up making his life full of nothing (not saying you are doing that, just my story). I usually only pick part of things lately or things that wont be a huge disappointment because it is just too much for him. I have reversed myself, and I know that is not good. I do it by explaining that I have new information and have reconsidered my decision. I then give him a chance to earn the event back by doing some kind of work (Usually trash and laundry gathering because he is good at that but doesn't love it) It is hard to tell when they can and cant, or partially cant. I have decided to think in myself that there is a chance he cant but to present to him that he can. I talk to him as if I expect him to be able to be in control etc. </p><p></p><p>I have no right answer for sure, struggle with it all the time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 480265, member: 12886"] I'm such a dork, I keep hitting reply to thread and losing my post! (after I write it all) What I did say a while ago was that I can really relate to that struggle between when to stick to a threatened consequence and when not to. I am really trying to avoid those kinds of threats only because I end up making his life full of nothing (not saying you are doing that, just my story). I usually only pick part of things lately or things that wont be a huge disappointment because it is just too much for him. I have reversed myself, and I know that is not good. I do it by explaining that I have new information and have reconsidered my decision. I then give him a chance to earn the event back by doing some kind of work (Usually trash and laundry gathering because he is good at that but doesn't love it) It is hard to tell when they can and cant, or partially cant. I have decided to think in myself that there is a chance he cant but to present to him that he can. I talk to him as if I expect him to be able to be in control etc. I have no right answer for sure, struggle with it all the time. [/QUOTE]
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