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Not liking difficult child's significant others
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 506513" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>Vent away! A number of us know exactly how you are feeling and most of us either "held our tongue" or limited our input. It is so frustrating and really hard to detach from the mix. When two of our easy child sons made choices that we felt were unhealthy (and the rest of the family felt that way also) we very carefully suggested that they might need to rethink the choices. Both ended up married rather quickly and in my humble opinion decades later, lol, it was orchestrated by their then gfs. One was an RN...and she didn't understand birth control, right. The other said she "had it under control" but somehow taking a pill a day wasn't as easy as getting a college degree. Yikes! Neither girl was rejected by our family. In fact we all probably tried too hard to be nice in fear that our gut feelings would come through. Both chose to avoid contact with all our family as much as possible. We honestly don't really "know" those grands beyond the superficial level.</p><p></p><p>I'm living through it again with difficult child#1. The situation is different but it brings back memories...and a trace of fear. I am detaching from "their" relationship as much as possible. I don't have the answer for you or for me. Just wanted you to know that I do understand and agree that it is best to "zip the lip" and just hope that the relationships fizzle out on their own. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don't. Fingers crossed that you son finds a valuable companion in the future. Hugs DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 506513, member: 35"] Vent away! A number of us know exactly how you are feeling and most of us either "held our tongue" or limited our input. It is so frustrating and really hard to detach from the mix. When two of our easy child sons made choices that we felt were unhealthy (and the rest of the family felt that way also) we very carefully suggested that they might need to rethink the choices. Both ended up married rather quickly and in my humble opinion decades later, lol, it was orchestrated by their then gfs. One was an RN...and she didn't understand birth control, right. The other said she "had it under control" but somehow taking a pill a day wasn't as easy as getting a college degree. Yikes! Neither girl was rejected by our family. In fact we all probably tried too hard to be nice in fear that our gut feelings would come through. Both chose to avoid contact with all our family as much as possible. We honestly don't really "know" those grands beyond the superficial level. I'm living through it again with difficult child#1. The situation is different but it brings back memories...and a trace of fear. I am detaching from "their" relationship as much as possible. I don't have the answer for you or for me. Just wanted you to know that I do understand and agree that it is best to "zip the lip" and just hope that the relationships fizzle out on their own. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don't. Fingers crossed that you son finds a valuable companion in the future. Hugs DDD [/QUOTE]
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