That's a hard call. On one hand, it's their business. On the other, there are the kids to consider. Are they safe in the middle of all this? I'm not sure how you can help his wife without helping him as well, that could really create even more conflict if you side with his wife. Can you hold on and see what you're told directly?
I would try to stay out of it as much as you can. Observe without participating. Many hugs going out.
