Hi all, scanning the subject headings here, I see I'm still in good company. I was on this board for many years, until we kicked out our son (drugs, knife, gun). He got a job and his friends helped him out. Now he is married with two toddlers, one on the way (1st wk of Feb) and a 6-yr-old from a previous relationship. He has had at least one affair--his wife thinks several--and I thought everything was going well--job promotion for a transportation company, working hard, watching the kids 3 days a week while his wife works. She just texted my daughter, who called me. The text said one of his wife's friends saw his dating profile on an app and he lists himself as polyamorous. He is bipolar and barely on the aspie spectrum. He is taking his medications, but there is only so much you can do. I want to strangle him. His kids are SO sweet! But his relationship with his wife so very toxic. Neither of them knows how to be in a relationship. She was raised in a huge family where the parents fight, physically and verbally. She brought that into the marriage. He brought in lots of therapy but also his mental illness. He knows not to hit but she is provocative. She has called the police on him before. Clearly, by texting my daughter, she is reaching out. She does not want to tell her family. Yesterday I texted them and wished them a happy 5th anniversary. She said thank you and he said nothing. I will have them over on Christmas day. Do I pretend not to know all this?