Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Not sure what to call this? Goodbye? Update?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 309398" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>mog, </p><p> </p><p>First off - I would like to extend my personal apology for not responding to more of your posts when you reached out. For me personally? I hang out a lot on the Watercooler and get here and the PE because some days I have no ability to deal with more than that. Other days? I'm flame retardant and could fight dragons in the buff. </p><p> </p><p>Most of the time when I'm not sure what to say to help or if someone else has said something that is just brilliant? I'll post my support in hugs and then somedays I re read that I just sent hugs and thing - Ish Star...that was all you had to give - would have been better to have said nothing. So don't ever measure the love that you get by the posts you receive. Plenty of people here read or lurk without ever responding. Lots of us have multi-lives and quick-read and then include you in our prayers daily. You'll just never know. </p><p> </p><p>Now - as far as that "loosing most of your friends thing" (AAAAaaaaaachk-phooey) Yeah lemme tell you something girl. MY SON...has cut more loosers from the proverbial herd than I can count. Over the years as they dropped from sight and my presence? I have considered myself FORTUNATE to not have them darken my doorway. Why? Simple - if they were REAL friends or at least the calibre of friends I have met HERE? THEY WOULD STILL BE MY FRIENDS DESPITE ANYTHING MY SON HAD DONE. Period. END of conversation. Because what my SON has done - whether it be convicted burglary felon, or almost be on an episode of cops, or get in my face screaming I HATE YOU, or cursing even though we are "do the finger quote" Christians...? Isn't all that about FORGIVENESS? - Yeah..so where are they in their forgiveness? And their love? And their WALK to be Christ like? Or Buddah like? Or One with the Universe? Or whatever like? Sheesh - count that one as a WIN-WIN - and enjoy the solitude of the sounds of blissful silence in having NO friends if that's what TRUE friends are going to be like. Then get a rescue dog or a special needs cat that will remain loyal. Or again - come here and post and lend your knowledge to a newbie. But for petes sake don't just leave us without getting more than 200 posts under your belt. Know what I mean?? ~ Give to get..<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> I'm ALWAYS up for anything. (almost anything anyway) and Spiritually? You can PM me anytime since it's TABU on the board. I have had an interesting walk. Pretty much through every kind of natural disaster - figuratively and literally - but I'm an overcomer not a survivor. I wanted more than to just tell people I made it - I wanted to get there and live. And be something that people looked at and said - Wonder what kind of good drug she's on. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" /><span style="font-size: 9px"> (Technically Welbutrin but that's another post)</span></p><p> </p><p>And as far as your son being in a Foster Home....(UFFDA) yeah..not ideallic huh? <span style="font-family: 'Book Antiqua'"><em>(pushes coffee cup across to friend and hands box of Puffs plus - cause they have Aloe and you've been crying a lot - they are really really soft for your nose) </em></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">But you know something....with every single placement I begrudgingly put my son in? I would cry all the way home and get so angry at everyone. EVERYONE....even (points up) and I mean ANGRY. WhooT....Like HOW could HE do that to my son...how could this happen?? Lots of questions I wanted answers for NOW! Not in 10 years.....Not in another placement....Not living in Department of Juvenile Justice or prison or a FOSTER home.....not -not under MY roof...And then it hit me one night...that no matter where he is.....this is his life....and I had to let go. and that hurt worst of all. Because for most of MY life - and ALL of his life to that point? I'd been protecting him and being a warrior for him and defending him and sticking up for him - and now he was gone - and I had no one to protect and it left me empty....SO THEN.....(and this is REALLY bizarre) I started picking ---at things and TRYING to make things bad so that I would have something to do. Crazy huh? It was like my brain was telling my body to CREATE chaos so that it had that purpose again - and the need was fulfilled. Then I could function. I had zero clue how to relax and let things be.....I literally needed the crazy life to survive. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">So.....I had to learn how FIRST to let go and let (points up) and I said it...but man I kept butting in.....and (laughing) was still trying to manipulate it and do it on MY terms to some degree. Well that didn't work. ...Think mustard seed - it will help. Then I had to literally learn breathing techniques. I swear at 42 I didn't know how to breathe or relax. So that was a bonus....sounds goofy - but really - we don't breathe right. And we're all so tense - GO GET A MASSAGE....(not kidding) and find out something that you ENJOY to do. I got asked my my therapist WHAT DO YOU LIKE to do for FUN and could not answer him. Had no clue because EVERYTHING I did - was either difficult child or WORK related. I'm 45 - I have not had (to this day) a vacation since I was 16. No joke. Don't be like that. Find something to do....a passion - a hobby - and do it. FOR YOURSELF....I'm getting my "mojo" back as it were and I'm a lot happier....and soon I hope to really take a vacation. A real one - where I do NOTHING...at.....all. Just be. So that's the next thing - have a goal. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">As far as your kids? You know what? They grow up and they leave. Fact of life. If you want them to come back and visit? Then you had better learn how----to be the best mog you can be - and get a life for yourself...and become happy, mellow and full of life and stop living for them. If you live for you??? They get curious and want to know -----like I said - What good drugs you're on....honest -----and eventually you can say with a sassy little dance and a smile on your face and a laugh in your heart....just love and life kids.....and lots of prayers. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">So....(pours more coffee) -----you with the frownie face......and the kid in foster care. I have one in there too. He's possibly BiPolar (BP) as well. NOT FUN. BUT.....while he is there? YOU figure out what makes mog happy - and let the foster family help your son - and find mog. Hope you enjoyed the coffee, the chat.....and sorry I had nothing to serve but sugar free box cookies but I'm sticking to this bloody sugar free diet loosing weight and you wanna talk about finding yourself - yesterday I found my feet....amazing. Right there all the time....<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/laugh.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":laugh:" title="laugh :laugh:" data-shortname=":laugh:" /></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">You take care and come back......and gimme a holla on one of my posts some time. HOLLA' (that's not Hola like in Espanol....that HOLLA like in that guinea pig movie...) Or like in West Virginia....if you go way back in the woods - there's a Holler...but the guine pigs leave off the r. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Hugs & Love - </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Star....</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">ps.....also take this time to learn how to detach.....101. It's a life saver for you and your son. We'll help. Swear =-===everytime I think I'm gonna do something weak? I see 1/2 the board memebers here in my mind with crossed arms and tapping foots and eyebrows raised shaking heads like - OH NO YOU DO NOT...and it' really helps curb my inhibitions...(they're a scary....but LOVELY bunch) </span></p><p> </p><p><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 309398, member: 4964"] mog, First off - I would like to extend my personal apology for not responding to more of your posts when you reached out. For me personally? I hang out a lot on the Watercooler and get here and the PE because some days I have no ability to deal with more than that. Other days? I'm flame retardant and could fight dragons in the buff. Most of the time when I'm not sure what to say to help or if someone else has said something that is just brilliant? I'll post my support in hugs and then somedays I re read that I just sent hugs and thing - Ish Star...that was all you had to give - would have been better to have said nothing. So don't ever measure the love that you get by the posts you receive. Plenty of people here read or lurk without ever responding. Lots of us have multi-lives and quick-read and then include you in our prayers daily. You'll just never know. Now - as far as that "loosing most of your friends thing" (AAAAaaaaaachk-phooey) Yeah lemme tell you something girl. MY SON...has cut more loosers from the proverbial herd than I can count. Over the years as they dropped from sight and my presence? I have considered myself FORTUNATE to not have them darken my doorway. Why? Simple - if they were REAL friends or at least the calibre of friends I have met HERE? THEY WOULD STILL BE MY FRIENDS DESPITE ANYTHING MY SON HAD DONE. Period. END of conversation. Because what my SON has done - whether it be convicted burglary felon, or almost be on an episode of cops, or get in my face screaming I HATE YOU, or cursing even though we are "do the finger quote" Christians...? Isn't all that about FORGIVENESS? - Yeah..so where are they in their forgiveness? And their love? And their WALK to be Christ like? Or Buddah like? Or One with the Universe? Or whatever like? Sheesh - count that one as a WIN-WIN - and enjoy the solitude of the sounds of blissful silence in having NO friends if that's what TRUE friends are going to be like. Then get a rescue dog or a special needs cat that will remain loyal. Or again - come here and post and lend your knowledge to a newbie. But for petes sake don't just leave us without getting more than 200 posts under your belt. Know what I mean?? ~ Give to get..:winking: I'm ALWAYS up for anything. (almost anything anyway) and Spiritually? You can PM me anytime since it's TABU on the board. I have had an interesting walk. Pretty much through every kind of natural disaster - figuratively and literally - but I'm an overcomer not a survivor. I wanted more than to just tell people I made it - I wanted to get there and live. And be something that people looked at and said - Wonder what kind of good drug she's on. :raspberry-tounge:[SIZE=1] (Technically Welbutrin but that's another post)[/SIZE] And as far as your son being in a Foster Home....(UFFDA) yeah..not ideallic huh? [FONT=Book Antiqua][I](pushes coffee cup across to friend and hands box of Puffs plus - cause they have Aloe and you've been crying a lot - they are really really soft for your nose) [/I][/FONT][FONT=Arial]But you know something....with every single placement I begrudgingly put my son in? I would cry all the way home and get so angry at everyone. EVERYONE....even (points up) and I mean ANGRY. WhooT....Like HOW could HE do that to my son...how could this happen?? Lots of questions I wanted answers for NOW! Not in 10 years.....Not in another placement....Not living in Department of Juvenile Justice or prison or a FOSTER home.....not -not under MY roof...And then it hit me one night...that no matter where he is.....this is his life....and I had to let go. and that hurt worst of all. Because for most of MY life - and ALL of his life to that point? I'd been protecting him and being a warrior for him and defending him and sticking up for him - and now he was gone - and I had no one to protect and it left me empty....SO THEN.....(and this is REALLY bizarre) I started picking ---at things and TRYING to make things bad so that I would have something to do. Crazy huh? It was like my brain was telling my body to CREATE chaos so that it had that purpose again - and the need was fulfilled. Then I could function. I had zero clue how to relax and let things be.....I literally needed the crazy life to survive. [/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial]So.....I had to learn how FIRST to let go and let (points up) and I said it...but man I kept butting in.....and (laughing) was still trying to manipulate it and do it on MY terms to some degree. Well that didn't work. ...Think mustard seed - it will help. Then I had to literally learn breathing techniques. I swear at 42 I didn't know how to breathe or relax. So that was a bonus....sounds goofy - but really - we don't breathe right. And we're all so tense - GO GET A MASSAGE....(not kidding) and find out something that you ENJOY to do. I got asked my my therapist WHAT DO YOU LIKE to do for FUN and could not answer him. Had no clue because EVERYTHING I did - was either difficult child or WORK related. I'm 45 - I have not had (to this day) a vacation since I was 16. No joke. Don't be like that. Find something to do....a passion - a hobby - and do it. FOR YOURSELF....I'm getting my "mojo" back as it were and I'm a lot happier....and soon I hope to really take a vacation. A real one - where I do NOTHING...at.....all. Just be. So that's the next thing - have a goal. :winking:[/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial]As far as your kids? You know what? They grow up and they leave. Fact of life. If you want them to come back and visit? Then you had better learn how----to be the best mog you can be - and get a life for yourself...and become happy, mellow and full of life and stop living for them. If you live for you??? They get curious and want to know -----like I said - What good drugs you're on....honest -----and eventually you can say with a sassy little dance and a smile on your face and a laugh in your heart....just love and life kids.....and lots of prayers. [/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial]So....(pours more coffee) -----you with the frownie face......and the kid in foster care. I have one in there too. He's possibly BiPolar (BP) as well. NOT FUN. BUT.....while he is there? YOU figure out what makes mog happy - and let the foster family help your son - and find mog. Hope you enjoyed the coffee, the chat.....and sorry I had nothing to serve but sugar free box cookies but I'm sticking to this bloody sugar free diet loosing weight and you wanna talk about finding yourself - yesterday I found my feet....amazing. Right there all the time....:funny:[/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial]You take care and come back......and gimme a holla on one of my posts some time. HOLLA' (that's not Hola like in Espanol....that HOLLA like in that guinea pig movie...) Or like in West Virginia....if you go way back in the woods - there's a Holler...but the guine pigs leave off the r. [/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Hugs & Love - [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Star....[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]ps.....also take this time to learn how to detach.....101. It's a life saver for you and your son. We'll help. Swear =-===everytime I think I'm gonna do something weak? I see 1/2 the board memebers here in my mind with crossed arms and tapping foots and eyebrows raised shaking heads like - OH NO YOU DO NOT...and it' really helps curb my inhibitions...(they're a scary....but LOVELY bunch) [/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] :winking: [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Not sure what to call this? Goodbye? Update?
Top