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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 331162" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Shari, </p><p></p><p>I was going to suggest the same book as Daisy Face did. The Five Love Languages. It literally changed my life/perspective on how I got along not only with DF but with others in my life period. It's a very VERY introspective book. Don't dismiss it because it's a faith based book -please. It's more than that - LOADS more and you can learn so so much from it about the people in your life. GREAT CALL DAISY. </p><p></p><p>As far as the list? Ah.....well I have that same list. My advice to you is to prioritize the list and see what you have accomplished and cross those things off. The important things. Lots of us make lists of things we would like to have happen in our lives. These are not set in stone. These are also things that we could change, they aren't things that won't happen. They are also things that are give and take. Have you ever considered what your husband's list would have looked like? I really never considered what DF's list would have looked like after his divorce, but I'm SURE it never included taking care of difficult child Dude and all his glory. So, there is compromise, re-evaluation and agreement. </p><p></p><p>As far as the fish fryer and the dryer? That's easy. I would walk through and say "Honey - If you want to keep the XX and the XX either you're going to have to clean them by XX or I'm putting them in the barn and you can clean them the next time you want to use them." and then DO IT. If he wants them clean? He'll clean them. If not? They'll be in the barn and he can see how much fun they are to clean in eight months (not much) and maybe then when you say "Honey If you want to keep this clean it by XX." he'll get up off his checker hopping hiney and move his junk." </p><p></p><p>Just keep in mind....this will be used against you ----so you had better be on your best clean up mode too, and ready to pick up stuff HE deems in HIS way. </p><p></p><p>Hugs</p><p>Re-evaluate the list, cross off what you've accomplished and go from there. I'm with Abbey. I'd talk to him about your goals, maybe not necessarily show him that list per se, write a new one - but I would tell him what your dreams were and how you feel.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 331162, member: 4964"] Shari, I was going to suggest the same book as Daisy Face did. The Five Love Languages. It literally changed my life/perspective on how I got along not only with DF but with others in my life period. It's a very VERY introspective book. Don't dismiss it because it's a faith based book -please. It's more than that - LOADS more and you can learn so so much from it about the people in your life. GREAT CALL DAISY. As far as the list? Ah.....well I have that same list. My advice to you is to prioritize the list and see what you have accomplished and cross those things off. The important things. Lots of us make lists of things we would like to have happen in our lives. These are not set in stone. These are also things that we could change, they aren't things that won't happen. They are also things that are give and take. Have you ever considered what your husband's list would have looked like? I really never considered what DF's list would have looked like after his divorce, but I'm SURE it never included taking care of difficult child Dude and all his glory. So, there is compromise, re-evaluation and agreement. As far as the fish fryer and the dryer? That's easy. I would walk through and say "Honey - If you want to keep the XX and the XX either you're going to have to clean them by XX or I'm putting them in the barn and you can clean them the next time you want to use them." and then DO IT. If he wants them clean? He'll clean them. If not? They'll be in the barn and he can see how much fun they are to clean in eight months (not much) and maybe then when you say "Honey If you want to keep this clean it by XX." he'll get up off his checker hopping hiney and move his junk." Just keep in mind....this will be used against you ----so you had better be on your best clean up mode too, and ready to pick up stuff HE deems in HIS way. Hugs Re-evaluate the list, cross off what you've accomplished and go from there. I'm with Abbey. I'd talk to him about your goals, maybe not necessarily show him that list per se, write a new one - but I would tell him what your dreams were and how you feel. [/QUOTE]
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