Back in early 2003, just after DEX left, I wrote a list of things that I wanted for myself that I agreed I would never compromise again. Very basic things that, as a wife and mother and person, I deserved. Things like not having to choose between my roles as wife/mother/person. Living in my home without fear - like being able to talk to someone else in the room without fear of interrupting someone's precious tv. Spending time with someone with similar values and goals. Holding everyone, including yourself, to the same standards. We're not talking easth shattering stuff, here. Anyway, about 3 weeks ago, while cleaning out some junk on the old hard drive, I came across it. I'd pretty much forgotten it, otherwise. So I opened it and read it. Obviously, this was written after DEX left. There was LOTS broken in that relationship, and it was obviously written with him in mind. But there's a koi-load that applies to my current relationship, and its pretty much disturbing to me. I have compromised. Again. Not to say I'm ready to run out on husband. I realize there has to be a component to me/of me that is partially responsible for how these guys act/react to me. Perhaps my demand for independance? I don't really know. I just know husband didn't used to be so dang lazy...he used to help more. Now? I try to slip in conversations during commercial breaks - and if he's not parked in front of the tv, he's online playing checkers. Literally...hours a day. He was just off work for 10 days for the holidays. Other than me not getting wee difficult child up and ready for school, he has not picked up one additional chore while he's been home and I've been working. NOT A SINGLE ONE. In fact, I come home to 2 or 3 skillets on the stove needing to be washed. And after finding this, its just getting my goat more and more. He's aware that I'm not happy about the way things are going and I have told him repeatedly that he needs to step up. His reply? "He unloaded the dishwasher. And scrubbed the bathtub last week." Which is great...but the dehydrater parts he used in November are still sitting on the table. The fish breader, that he used 2 weeks ago, is still in the sink, cause it has to be hand washed...The tools he used to put together wee's Christmas present are still piled on the tv. His plates and glasses from three days ago are on the endtable. Since I bought a hamper with a lid, he just makes piles on the floor. I should be thankful for what he does...he gave me a very thoughtful gift for Christmas to help me with difficult child's records (which also somewhat irritates me cause his folks loaned him part of the money to pay for it...I'm stuck just getting everyone what I can afford...)but particularly after finding this little list, I'm having a hard time with it. So, anyway, should I show it to him? And let him know it was written SEVEN YEARS AGO.