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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 740952" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi. I am sorry. I have just accepted myself that we can not keep our grown kids alive whether they live with us or not. They have to do it. Often suicide is used to scare us inro making their lives easier but I dont know your son and if this is him or not. Either way he will act and do what he wants. Thirty days in my opinion is not long enough to fix depresdion let alone addiction. If he truly wanted to be sober he would go to sober living. This is common sense. Not IOP . Not your house...you cant help him and it will help kill YOU....sober living. Rebound or not is not important in my opinion. He is refusing the highest level of help. So does he really want to quit? Has he even quit?</p><p></p><p>Words mean nothing. We can all claim to want to climb a mountain .Unless we do it, the words were just a wistful or manipulative vent maybe to impress people. Your son knows he is your weak spot. If he wants to get sober he knows how. You dont have to make suggestions. He will just refuse them. He probably knows more options than you. He can be surrounded by cheerleaders if he chooses those options. But rhey wont make life easy or pity him. Other addicts can be sympathetix but tough. And they will never hand him money. They know money means buying a substance. </p><p></p><p>He cal deal with grief and sorrow over the past in therapy. You cant be his therapist. We are all roo biased. And we have no training. Anyhow doctors often refuse to treat family. Its hard.</p><p></p><p>I think he is playing you. I have been played. We all have. We all want to rhink the best of a beloved SO or spouse or child or other loved one. Their job to suck us in is easy. Ourts, to see through it, is hard.</p><p></p><p>Ask yourself what on earth you can do? You have done everything you could do and it didn't work.</p><p></p><p>I feel for you. I am sorry</p><p></p><p>Love and light!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 740952, member: 1550"] Hi. I am sorry. I have just accepted myself that we can not keep our grown kids alive whether they live with us or not. They have to do it. Often suicide is used to scare us inro making their lives easier but I dont know your son and if this is him or not. Either way he will act and do what he wants. Thirty days in my opinion is not long enough to fix depresdion let alone addiction. If he truly wanted to be sober he would go to sober living. This is common sense. Not IOP . Not your house...you cant help him and it will help kill YOU....sober living. Rebound or not is not important in my opinion. He is refusing the highest level of help. So does he really want to quit? Has he even quit? Words mean nothing. We can all claim to want to climb a mountain .Unless we do it, the words were just a wistful or manipulative vent maybe to impress people. Your son knows he is your weak spot. If he wants to get sober he knows how. You dont have to make suggestions. He will just refuse them. He probably knows more options than you. He can be surrounded by cheerleaders if he chooses those options. But rhey wont make life easy or pity him. Other addicts can be sympathetix but tough. And they will never hand him money. They know money means buying a substance. He cal deal with grief and sorrow over the past in therapy. You cant be his therapist. We are all roo biased. And we have no training. Anyhow doctors often refuse to treat family. Its hard. I think he is playing you. I have been played. We all have. We all want to rhink the best of a beloved SO or spouse or child or other loved one. Their job to suck us in is easy. Ourts, to see through it, is hard. Ask yourself what on earth you can do? You have done everything you could do and it didn't work. I feel for you. I am sorry Love and light! [/QUOTE]
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