Not sure where things are going...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by justtotallyspent, Sep 29, 2010.

  1. So our difficult child started his first medication trial for the recent diagnosis adhd - mixed/odd..... day 1 down....hmmmm... it's makes me feel sad to say that after 2 years it seems this is the only glimise of hope we have seen. Only 1 hr in on his first dose there seemed to be a decrease in his fidgetting.... really in an hour...hmmmm!?!?!?

    Well his dose will be uped slowly over the next 2 weeks and we are trying hard not to get our hopes up too soon..... we know medications are not a cure all. Well off to school tomorrow (close monitoring there too) lets see if this is the beginning of some hope.

    I need some hope... the end of the tunnel has been dark very dark.... we have been considering out of the home placement if things can't somewhat controlled. The aggression and lying can't be tolerated too much longer. I feel like I can't believe I can say that we can't handle an almost 5 yr old like really he's not even 5... how is this so hard.

    School has been horrible since day 1 this year, defying his teacher, fighting with others, bus problems daily. We are grabbing for straws hoping this helps but not wanting to get our hopes up only to have them smashed into the ground.

    Well I have been reading over some posts, been too busy to read for a couple days and still can't believe how much support this site and the people here are. Thanks everyone!
  2. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hey Just,

    Couple things. It's not unusual that you would see immediate results with a stimulant. They are in a class of meeds that react, well kinda like aspirin. You take it, you get results, then it's gone. It doesn't need to build up in your system in order to work. Now there can be some side effects like headache, loss of appetite, etc., that can diminish as your body adjusts over time to the medication.

    Now the big but. I know you say the end of tunnel has been dark, but I don't think you are coming out yet. His behaviors sound to me, and I'm not a doctor nor am I qualified to diagnosis him, much more than adhd. With the extremes in his behavior, lying, aggression, defiance, fighting, it appears a little more complicated than that.

    Now listen, I'm not saying that this is not going to make a positive difference. I'm not trying to burst your bubble.

    I can tell you that when my difficult child started going through the really tough times, raging at school being the worst (clear the classroom kind of rages), his principal put her hand on my shoulder during a moment of "what in the world is wrong with him?" desperation and said, "I know it looks and feels like it now, but you will get there. He's not the first little boy I've seen like this and I can assure you he won't be the last. You are starting this process now and it could take a few months or it could take a year, but you will find some answers and things will get better."

    I've never forgotten her words. I can't tell you how much better it made me feel. I was about a month shy of finding this board so I didn't even realize that others were dealing with this stuff. I also appreciated that fact that she told me it was going to take time. It made the process much more hopeful for me because I knew, no matter the setbacks, that we would get there.

    And we did.

    So will you.

    Make sure your little one knows how much you love him - even though you want to lock the door and go away! As frustrated and overwhelmed as you feel, stop and imagine how he must feel inside. There is an element here of loss of control. I would venture to guess that the majority of his behavior is not deliberate. He's a little boy who is dealing with some issues that he can't possibly vocalize or understand.

    Hold everyone close, keep the youngest safe, make sure that you and husband take some time for yourselves and aggressively pursue a diagnosis with his doctor(s) and some additional supports at school.

  3. idohope

    idohope Member

    I hope that the stimulant does bring some good results for your little guy.

    Thinking positive thoughts for you. Hang in there.
  4. ShanDiann

    ShanDiann Guest


    We have seen wonderful progress on the stimulant. We started at the end of K. We were seeing similar behaviors. It has helped alot. Now 7 He still shows some aggression. Was just suspended for stomping the assistant principal's foot. But the progress is still there.

    Remember - There is a light at the end of the tunnel even if it is a very long tunnel. I'm new here myself but am so thankful I have found this wonderful group to vent to, who truly understand.