Dearest Lookingforthelight, so sorry for your troubles and your need to be here. Welcome to the forum. You have endured a lot from your daughter, set a boundary and are following through with your word. This is a good thing that you are standing up and putting your foot down. Your daughter is an adult in the laws eyes and being disrespectful, stealing from parents is unacceptable. You have parented her and she won't listen. Your younger daughter deserves your full attention.
It is hard when first enforcing this. We love our d cs it is natural to dislike their actions.
I wish I had put my foot down sooner with my girls. Well, I did, but let them back home too many times. It only prolonged the problem.
Stand your ground, you did the right thing. Our kids will only respect us if we respect ourselves enough to stop the craziness in our homes.
You are not alone.
(((Hugs)))
leafy