I made my daughter leave for drug use, but she wasnt abusive to us. She did quit and ten years later we are close. I dont think this would have occurred if we had let her stay. She even says that. She was escorted out at nineteen as a meth and other drug user.
Your daiughter sounds more complicated. Ever look up borderline personality disorder? Id see if she fits.this would not be your fault. She will always be difficult though if she has it, again not your fault.
Whether your daughter improves or not if you make her leave, you and your "normal" loved ones deserve a peaceful sanctuary...a safe home without stealing, lying, violence, abuse and constant drama. I would not let her live with me again if she were mine and the money train would end.
She is old enough to work and rent a room. She can walk to work. My daughter walked back and forth in chicagos winter after she left our house. She made it. Your daughter has the choice of following your house rules. Your house/your rules or she can find other accomodations. Its hard to do but we dont help them by giving them comfort as they abuse us and break the law.
You do not ever have to listen to her verbal abuse. You can disconnect your phone and put it in a drawer if she keeps sending ugly, blaming texts. Text her that you will respond when she is calmer and leave it at that so that it wont escalate.
Im tired now so I may not be the most coherent. But you deserve a quiet home. It is YOUR home. You can not control your daughter.bplease dont let her craziness controi YOU. Good luck and keep posting. In the end, we will support any choice you make.
This post would fit best on the parent emeritus forum 
