So many words of wisdom from all the posters. We have all walked in your shoes and I understand your grieving heart. You probably are still doubting yourself at times - the shoulda, coulda, woulda thoughts sometimes creep in - I only say this from my own experience the first time I asked my son to leave. I too know the frustration of having a child who was so personable and polite around psychiatrist and other people that I'm assuming they perhaps thought the problem was me and not my child. Even recently in the throes of his addiction he saw a court ordered psychiatrist and the documentation showed there was nothing wrong with him.(The professional came to this conclusion after one visit)Those of us who have seen his dark side were floored. However, my son knew how to play the game and seems to share some traits with your daughter. Good looks and a winning smile got him many places but the inner shell was empty.
Your daughter must now walk her own path and like the others mentioned her wings are now ready to fly. Like baby birds they may crash and fall but in order to fly free it is the only way to learn.
You set boundaries and made a decision that is very difficult to do - you are a strong person! Hugs from me.
