Hi Looking 
I wish I had the time and mental energy to share my story (and updates for a few of you who've read my original posts). I can't seem to put it all out there...
Just KNOW that you're not alone. I can relate to every single thing you've said. All of it. The fears, sadness, disappointment, questions, dashed dreams....
Yes, it does get easier, but there will still be days where you struggle. That's when you will find some peace and comfort here. This group has helped me so much. I post very little, but I'm here often.
Sending love, and hugs and prayers your way.