Janie67, thank you for reaching out. I have no words of wisdom. They only thing I can tell you is that I understand every word you wrote. The not wanting to wake up in the morning is something I too, feel every day. It's hard as moms not to take blame for how or kids have turned out. In my case, my husband didn't come into my Difficult Child's life until she was 9. So, in my mind, I created my problem child and I give all the credit to my husband for how my easy child has turned out. I have wanted (and begged) my husband to move somewhere new all weekend. A fresh start. I also find myself wishing away knowing my Difficult Child. Like somehow, if I could just forget she existed, I could then move forward. I feel terrible for thinking that. I also feel terrible for wondering why I have to go through this? I try to remind myself that my Difficult Child is struggling too, that this is her story, but it's hard to think that way when your kids are such a huge part of your life, and are essentially an extension of you.
It's been helpful to read this forum Janie67 and I hope you find comfort in knowing that you're not alone. I truly feel for you, and all of us here. Are your boys still in your house?
