Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
not sure where to put this.........relationship ****
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 446934" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Well - I agree with Susie * 100% THIS IS ABUSE. YOU NEED TO LEAVE - Get in touch with a Domestic Violence Shelter and find out what you need to do to keep yourself SAFE and get a PLAN and GET OUT. ASAP. </p><p></p><p>Domestic Violence is a CYCLE - He is alienating you from your FAMILY - CONTROLLING your EVERY move.....TELLING YOU WHEN you CAN and CAN'T talk, HOW to TALK, WHAT you can SAY. </p><p></p><p>HE IS CALLING YOU NAMES in front of the children........</p><p></p><p>THIS IS NOT love ------THIS IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. YOU NEED HELP - and YOU NEED TO GET AWAY - WHILE YOU CAN - BEFORE SOMETHING HAPPENS THAT YOU CAN'T GET AWAY. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>FIrst of all - If you have NOT been hit or threatened to have been hit? I would suspect it's coming. He's already spanking the children. He's <span style="color: #ff0000">not in control of his anger</span>, emotions, or himself. He is dangerous and out of control. </p><p></p><p>SO if there IS "saving" this marriage - WHY would you BOTHER to do it while you are IN THE HOME? You can SAVE it if you like - ANYWHERE you are SAFE. Sadly I would suspect that you are NOT married and the children are HIS....not YOURS or "ours" so they would not be able to go with you. This is why a DOMESTIC VIOLENCE WOMENS SHELTER needs to be called in. THEY have the power to take the children, place them with members of the family or temporarily put them with people that CAN see to it they are NOT spanked or abused, assessed, and ALSO ------(MOST IMPORTANTLY) if he's willing - GET HIM HELP - and GET YOUR FAMILY REUNIFICAITON. IF he is NOT ineterested in putting himself into counseling for his anger and abuse on his family? Then at least you.....</p><p><u><strong></strong></u></p><p><u><strong>GOT YOURSELF out ALIVE - </strong></u></p><p><u><strong>GOT SAFETY FOR THE CHILDREN </strong></u>and STOPPED THE CIRCLE OF ABUSE - becuase CHILDREN WILL REPEAT WHAT THEY SEE AND ARE SHOWN TO THEIR CHILDREN GENERATION AFTER GENERATION</p><p><strong>GAVE HIM A CHANCE</strong> TO HEAL HIMSELF< AND PUT HIS FAMILY TOGETHER IN A HEALTHY MANNER </p><p></p><p>THese things do NOT happen over night - they do not happen in a snap - BUT - SNAPPING IN ANGER AND HURTING SOMEONE POSSIBLY IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT AND EVEN KILLING SOMEONE IN ANGER OR ACCIDENTALLY? DOES......HE.IS.NOT.IN.CONTROL. AT.ALL. </p><p></p><p>By trying to control everything around him right down to telling your parents HOW to behave when they are at your home? HE IS LOOSING A GRIP ON REALITY AND YOU KNOW IT .......IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE. </p><p></p><p>Trust me - I've been there - I was married to a psychopath, I spent time in the ICU, I should be dead, I got out barely - and it took me FIFTEEN YEARS two times a week in therapy to get my head screwed back on and I stayed in my marriage for THIRTEEN YEARS BEGGING FOR HIM TO CHANGE......he kept me isolated, from family, no friends, and abused our only son. IT DOES NOT GET BETTER. </p><p></p><p>If you think you can change him with love ? WRong......</p><p>If you think he'll change with old age and mellow? WRONG .....</p><p>If you think once the kids are grown? WRONG</p><p>Once youhave more money? WRONG</p><p>Once he gets a break - poor guy - WRONG</p><p>If things would only go his way a little - WRONG..</p><p>If you were smarter, PRettier, JUST DID THINGS BETTER, FASTER, THE EXACT WAY HE WANTED THEM, WORKED FOUR JOBS NOT THREE..........WRONG WRONG WRONG...</p><p>IF YOU WERE SEXIER, THINNER, HAD NICER HAIR, BLONDER, MORE BRUNETTE, BETTER IN BED, SLUTTIER, BETTER AT EVERYTHING HE LIKED..WRONG>>>>>>AGAIN. </p><p></p><p>IT WILL NEVER GET BETTER NO MATTER WHAT - IT CAN calm down ----for a moment - but this will NEVER.....EVER get better -----and eventually he will use the things YOU LIKE ------against you--and threaten you...with them. </p><p></p><p>GET HELP.....GET OUT......and PLEASE DO NOT think I'm jerking your chain.........and DELETE........EVERYTING You are doing on the internet - HE IS WATCHING YOU......and everything you do - everywhere you go and anyone you talk to. Of that you can be sure. </p><p></p><p>Even IF -----you think you are so clever ........he'd never find out. </p><p></p><p>Domestic Violence hotlines are everywhere - so if you DO call ? Delete THAT off the phone (s) in your house when you call to - or go somehwere and do it there. The numbers you call in the house will show up on ALL your house phones and he'll look to see EVERY number you call every day - maybe even have another box somewhere in your house to record all your calls. </p><p></p><p>Just be safe.....</p><p></p><p>Hugs</p><p></p><p>and I will (for the sake of being positive and in a Christian light) say this. I DID not have an easy choice to make because I did NOT get married to get divorced. I did NOT take my vows lightly especially the parts that I said in front of the Almightly - for Better or WORSE in SICKNESS and in health to death do you part.....BUT I can if you need quote you every single scripture as it was quoted to me by my pastor that THIS MARRIAGE should not exist....and what those scriptures are because I had a very hard time LEAVING based on what I believed about marriage. So if it's a religious aspect that keeps you there? SEEK PASTORAL COUNSELING AND DV counseling. Because the Bible says Treat your wife like Christ treated the Church. Jesus never treated the church with abuse. Ever. There are no good excuses for staying in an abusive relationship - not even "My religion and vows say so." For better or worse didn't mean this, netiher did till death PARTS us and he kills me. - Just so you know. And like I said - Separation does not mean divorce, and you can give him an opportunity to work on his family and himself - while you get yourself and self confidence back. Don't go running back....figure out what's best for you. If he loves you - that's what he'll want too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 446934, member: 4964"] Well - I agree with Susie * 100% THIS IS ABUSE. YOU NEED TO LEAVE - Get in touch with a Domestic Violence Shelter and find out what you need to do to keep yourself SAFE and get a PLAN and GET OUT. ASAP. Domestic Violence is a CYCLE - He is alienating you from your FAMILY - CONTROLLING your EVERY move.....TELLING YOU WHEN you CAN and CAN'T talk, HOW to TALK, WHAT you can SAY. HE IS CALLING YOU NAMES in front of the children........ THIS IS NOT love ------THIS IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. YOU NEED HELP - and YOU NEED TO GET AWAY - WHILE YOU CAN - BEFORE SOMETHING HAPPENS THAT YOU CAN'T GET AWAY. FIrst of all - If you have NOT been hit or threatened to have been hit? I would suspect it's coming. He's already spanking the children. He's [COLOR=#ff0000]not in control of his anger[/COLOR], emotions, or himself. He is dangerous and out of control. SO if there IS "saving" this marriage - WHY would you BOTHER to do it while you are IN THE HOME? You can SAVE it if you like - ANYWHERE you are SAFE. Sadly I would suspect that you are NOT married and the children are HIS....not YOURS or "ours" so they would not be able to go with you. This is why a DOMESTIC VIOLENCE WOMENS SHELTER needs to be called in. THEY have the power to take the children, place them with members of the family or temporarily put them with people that CAN see to it they are NOT spanked or abused, assessed, and ALSO ------(MOST IMPORTANTLY) if he's willing - GET HIM HELP - and GET YOUR FAMILY REUNIFICAITON. IF he is NOT ineterested in putting himself into counseling for his anger and abuse on his family? Then at least you..... [U][B] GOT YOURSELF out ALIVE - GOT SAFETY FOR THE CHILDREN [/B][/U]and STOPPED THE CIRCLE OF ABUSE - becuase CHILDREN WILL REPEAT WHAT THEY SEE AND ARE SHOWN TO THEIR CHILDREN GENERATION AFTER GENERATION [B]GAVE HIM A CHANCE[/B] TO HEAL HIMSELF< AND PUT HIS FAMILY TOGETHER IN A HEALTHY MANNER THese things do NOT happen over night - they do not happen in a snap - BUT - SNAPPING IN ANGER AND HURTING SOMEONE POSSIBLY IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT AND EVEN KILLING SOMEONE IN ANGER OR ACCIDENTALLY? DOES......HE.IS.NOT.IN.CONTROL. AT.ALL. By trying to control everything around him right down to telling your parents HOW to behave when they are at your home? HE IS LOOSING A GRIP ON REALITY AND YOU KNOW IT .......IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE. Trust me - I've been there - I was married to a psychopath, I spent time in the ICU, I should be dead, I got out barely - and it took me FIFTEEN YEARS two times a week in therapy to get my head screwed back on and I stayed in my marriage for THIRTEEN YEARS BEGGING FOR HIM TO CHANGE......he kept me isolated, from family, no friends, and abused our only son. IT DOES NOT GET BETTER. If you think you can change him with love ? WRong...... If you think he'll change with old age and mellow? WRONG ..... If you think once the kids are grown? WRONG Once youhave more money? WRONG Once he gets a break - poor guy - WRONG If things would only go his way a little - WRONG.. If you were smarter, PRettier, JUST DID THINGS BETTER, FASTER, THE EXACT WAY HE WANTED THEM, WORKED FOUR JOBS NOT THREE..........WRONG WRONG WRONG... IF YOU WERE SEXIER, THINNER, HAD NICER HAIR, BLONDER, MORE BRUNETTE, BETTER IN BED, SLUTTIER, BETTER AT EVERYTHING HE LIKED..WRONG>>>>>>AGAIN. IT WILL NEVER GET BETTER NO MATTER WHAT - IT CAN calm down ----for a moment - but this will NEVER.....EVER get better -----and eventually he will use the things YOU LIKE ------against you--and threaten you...with them. GET HELP.....GET OUT......and PLEASE DO NOT think I'm jerking your chain.........and DELETE........EVERYTING You are doing on the internet - HE IS WATCHING YOU......and everything you do - everywhere you go and anyone you talk to. Of that you can be sure. Even IF -----you think you are so clever ........he'd never find out. Domestic Violence hotlines are everywhere - so if you DO call ? Delete THAT off the phone (s) in your house when you call to - or go somehwere and do it there. The numbers you call in the house will show up on ALL your house phones and he'll look to see EVERY number you call every day - maybe even have another box somewhere in your house to record all your calls. Just be safe..... Hugs and I will (for the sake of being positive and in a Christian light) say this. I DID not have an easy choice to make because I did NOT get married to get divorced. I did NOT take my vows lightly especially the parts that I said in front of the Almightly - for Better or WORSE in SICKNESS and in health to death do you part.....BUT I can if you need quote you every single scripture as it was quoted to me by my pastor that THIS MARRIAGE should not exist....and what those scriptures are because I had a very hard time LEAVING based on what I believed about marriage. So if it's a religious aspect that keeps you there? SEEK PASTORAL COUNSELING AND DV counseling. Because the Bible says Treat your wife like Christ treated the Church. Jesus never treated the church with abuse. Ever. There are no good excuses for staying in an abusive relationship - not even "My religion and vows say so." For better or worse didn't mean this, netiher did till death PARTS us and he kills me. - Just so you know. And like I said - Separation does not mean divorce, and you can give him an opportunity to work on his family and himself - while you get yourself and self confidence back. Don't go running back....figure out what's best for you. If he loves you - that's what he'll want too. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
not sure where to put this.........relationship ****
Top