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'Nother Newbie - ODD for 4 years
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<blockquote data-quote="VidQueen" data-source="post: 192758" data-attributes="member: 5871"><p>Thank you for the warm welcome everyone!</p><p></p><p>I have to say, after reading so many of the posts here, I'm a little weary of getting my difficult child evaluated; for two reasons.</p><p></p><p>First, if there are levels to ODD, my difficult child has been from 0 to 10 and back again. But as I read others posts, many of you are dealing with levels of 7 and above on a daily basis. I remember those days, my difficult child stayed at 7 and above DAILY for at least two years straight; but we don't really have them anymore. I really believe that the cause of my difficult children ODD was mostly environment, and that is very controllable. Don't get me wrong, though, I am confronted with anger/rage situations daily. In fact, we handled three today. All three were met head on and dispersed with different tactics depending on the situation. Which leads me to the second reason I am resisting evaluation:</p><p></p><p>I have never been big on medication. When my difficult child's behavior hit it's all time Rage Peak, between 3 1/2 and 4 1/2, I was at the point where I thought my last ditch effort would have to be medication. I was just devastated at the thought. I am absolutely convinced that if my Ex hadn't left my difficult child would be on pills right now. Again, I really want to stress that I whole heartedly believe that my daughter's emotional problems were caused by emotional and physical abuse; not a neurological disorder. If my child had a biological disorder, I think medication would be completely appropriate. But if the problem wasn't caused biologically I don't think it should be fixed that way. The fact that we (my new and WONDERFUL husband and I) can see the rage coming, focus completely on my difficult child at that moment and help her come through it with a variety of tactics is testament that behavior modification can work, in some cases. Not every time, of course. I think Sunday difficult child had a rage fit that lasted about an hour and a half. We tried every trick in the book. Some days it works, others it doesn't. </p><p></p><p>But SHE wants to get better. We tried to play Chutes and Ladders tonight. We've never been able to finish any game because difficult child launches a rage attack at the first sign that she is losing. She began to do that three times during the game. I just kept talking her through it...."The fun part of playing games is never knowing who is going to win"...."You can do it, honey, let's finish the game and see who wins!" I have to admit here, that I am writing this with a bloody lip...at one point she threw the spinner at me and hit me in the lip. BUT...she finished the game!!! And she wasn't the winner!!! And there was no meltdown!! In fact, when she lost the game I immediatelly got up, gave her a big hug and told her how proud of her I was for completeing the game. She was smiling so big, it just warmed my heart<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /> She went over to her sister, put her arm around her and said, "We should play this again! No matter who wins!". I just about cried. Then got an ice pack for my lip<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/faint.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":faint:" title="faint :faint:" data-shortname=":faint:" /></p><p></p><p>Ok, having rambled on quite a bit, my husband has mentioned Bipolar disorder a few times. I just don't want to go there. I may be in denial, I don't know. I just know that her behavior really is getting better. She's nothing like she was two years ago. I don't think BiPolar (BP) can get better on it's own.</p><p></p><p>Ok, done rambling now. Going to read more posts from you wonderful, wonderful people<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/redface.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":redface:" title="redface :redface:" data-shortname=":redface:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="VidQueen, post: 192758, member: 5871"] Thank you for the warm welcome everyone! I have to say, after reading so many of the posts here, I'm a little weary of getting my difficult child evaluated; for two reasons. First, if there are levels to ODD, my difficult child has been from 0 to 10 and back again. But as I read others posts, many of you are dealing with levels of 7 and above on a daily basis. I remember those days, my difficult child stayed at 7 and above DAILY for at least two years straight; but we don't really have them anymore. I really believe that the cause of my difficult children ODD was mostly environment, and that is very controllable. Don't get me wrong, though, I am confronted with anger/rage situations daily. In fact, we handled three today. All three were met head on and dispersed with different tactics depending on the situation. Which leads me to the second reason I am resisting evaluation: I have never been big on medication. When my difficult child's behavior hit it's all time Rage Peak, between 3 1/2 and 4 1/2, I was at the point where I thought my last ditch effort would have to be medication. I was just devastated at the thought. I am absolutely convinced that if my Ex hadn't left my difficult child would be on pills right now. Again, I really want to stress that I whole heartedly believe that my daughter's emotional problems were caused by emotional and physical abuse; not a neurological disorder. If my child had a biological disorder, I think medication would be completely appropriate. But if the problem wasn't caused biologically I don't think it should be fixed that way. The fact that we (my new and WONDERFUL husband and I) can see the rage coming, focus completely on my difficult child at that moment and help her come through it with a variety of tactics is testament that behavior modification can work, in some cases. Not every time, of course. I think Sunday difficult child had a rage fit that lasted about an hour and a half. We tried every trick in the book. Some days it works, others it doesn't. But SHE wants to get better. We tried to play Chutes and Ladders tonight. We've never been able to finish any game because difficult child launches a rage attack at the first sign that she is losing. She began to do that three times during the game. I just kept talking her through it...."The fun part of playing games is never knowing who is going to win"...."You can do it, honey, let's finish the game and see who wins!" I have to admit here, that I am writing this with a bloody lip...at one point she threw the spinner at me and hit me in the lip. BUT...she finished the game!!! And she wasn't the winner!!! And there was no meltdown!! In fact, when she lost the game I immediatelly got up, gave her a big hug and told her how proud of her I was for completeing the game. She was smiling so big, it just warmed my heart:happy: She went over to her sister, put her arm around her and said, "We should play this again! No matter who wins!". I just about cried. Then got an ice pack for my lip:knockedout: Ok, having rambled on quite a bit, my husband has mentioned Bipolar disorder a few times. I just don't want to go there. I may be in denial, I don't know. I just know that her behavior really is getting better. She's nothing like she was two years ago. I don't think BiPolar (BP) can get better on it's own. Ok, done rambling now. Going to read more posts from you wonderful, wonderful people:blushing: [/QUOTE]
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