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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 754569" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>In a recent post New Leaf told us she'd bought LED candles which she placed around the house. They helped her to remember to turn her focus to the light. </p><p></p><p>I had never heard of LED candles! So, I bought 10, at Costco. (I tried the Walmart ones first and they broke.)</p><p></p><p>Well. I want to thank you all, very much, for this thread. I am doing this morning the very thing we are talking about here on this thread and I need to stop. <em>I'm digging into my own soul.</em> I wake up depressed and defeated. I think I sleep defeated. And by the time I emerge from sleep it feels I'm so far under that I am just buried by dirt, buried by my life. Which, I guess, is a variant of the dug down state. When your unconscious during sleep just buries you and you wake up underground, believing yourself to be irretrievably trapped and defeated.</p><p></p><p>So. I'm amending my earlier post. What to do when you wake up already buried, feeling buried. And all you see and feel is heavy dirt.</p><p></p><p>I am visualizing it right now. I'm closing my eyes and I'm reimagining it. And guess what? The fear is gone. The resignation and defeat are gone. Even though there is enclosure, there is space to breathe and safety. And I feel deep peace. I feel reconnected.</p><p></p><p>Honestly. I don't know what happened. How did this visualization help me feel better? How did feeling buried as defeat change to peace?</p><p></p><p>When I tried to figure it out with my intellect, the buried feeling returned. Uh oh. That didn't work. </p><p></p><p>The closing my eyes, was literally "a blink of an eye." My mind's eye for an instant was circumvented. The circuit was broken. The intellect won't help. It will only start again the digging. No more thinking!!</p><p></p><p>I am learning through my spiritual practice that there is always a safe and complete and nourishing place to go in ourselves. To which to return. I am thinking that what "turning" is, is to give ourselves the chance to return to this place. Even in despair, feeling buried, it's available. If we "blink."</p><p></p><p>So what I am left with here is the sense that the stories don't matter. Trying to make stories to answer why questions only robs us of strength, focus and possibility. This is a trick of our minds to believe that the resolution is out there, in the story. The process of trying to find a story entails only more digging down the same hole.</p><p></p><p>When I woke up already buried I felt hopeless. But when I blinked, I imagined being buried as rest, not as defeat and being trapped. What a miracle! I'm going to Home Depot now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 754569, member: 18958"] In a recent post New Leaf told us she'd bought LED candles which she placed around the house. They helped her to remember to turn her focus to the light. I had never heard of LED candles! So, I bought 10, at Costco. (I tried the Walmart ones first and they broke.) Well. I want to thank you all, very much, for this thread. I am doing this morning the very thing we are talking about here on this thread and I need to stop. [I]I'm digging into my own soul.[/I] I wake up depressed and defeated. I think I sleep defeated. And by the time I emerge from sleep it feels I'm so far under that I am just buried by dirt, buried by my life. Which, I guess, is a variant of the dug down state. When your unconscious during sleep just buries you and you wake up underground, believing yourself to be irretrievably trapped and defeated. So. I'm amending my earlier post. What to do when you wake up already buried, feeling buried. And all you see and feel is heavy dirt. I am visualizing it right now. I'm closing my eyes and I'm reimagining it. And guess what? The fear is gone. The resignation and defeat are gone. Even though there is enclosure, there is space to breathe and safety. And I feel deep peace. I feel reconnected. Honestly. I don't know what happened. How did this visualization help me feel better? How did feeling buried as defeat change to peace? When I tried to figure it out with my intellect, the buried feeling returned. Uh oh. That didn't work. The closing my eyes, was literally "a blink of an eye." My mind's eye for an instant was circumvented. The circuit was broken. The intellect won't help. It will only start again the digging. No more thinking!! I am learning through my spiritual practice that there is always a safe and complete and nourishing place to go in ourselves. To which to return. I am thinking that what "turning" is, is to give ourselves the chance to return to this place. Even in despair, feeling buried, it's available. If we "blink." So what I am left with here is the sense that the stories don't matter. Trying to make stories to answer why questions only robs us of strength, focus and possibility. This is a trick of our minds to believe that the resolution is out there, in the story. The process of trying to find a story entails only more digging down the same hole. When I woke up already buried I felt hopeless. But when I blinked, I imagined being buried as rest, not as defeat and being trapped. What a miracle! I'm going to Home Depot now. [/QUOTE]
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