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Now I'm just gonna cry.
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<blockquote data-quote="Shari" data-source="post: 137661" data-attributes="member: 1848"><p>Susie, I tried to make easy child 2 have some chores and follow same rules, etc. I generally make her pick up toys before she leaves from the weekend or whatever. (the weekend that husband picked up was an exception) but husband is never the one enforcing it. easy child and I have always got along, but she's protective of and by dad (she'll still go crying to him and crawl on his lap if she's in trouble with me). I am the one who takes them on outings, but she'll write thank you cards and give them to dad thanking him for taking her. (and I'm not sure what to make of that, either, if that's a difficult child kinda trait or just her wishful thinking that dad did this stuff with her...). I was having to get onto her pretty hard to follow the same basic rules, and it was just making the disconnect with me bigger. I asked husband to do it, but he forgets or doesn't pay attention or whatever, and then she sees the split between us, and works that to the hilt, so I just dropped it with her. husband supposedly started having her water livestock when she's here on Wed but she did it the first Wed and hasn't since.</p><p> </p><p>When I've tried to talk to husband, he has started in on the older boys,or even wee difficult child, saying they don't do enuf. One of the things I bring up to husband when he starts that is to remind him that his daughter is nearly the same age as difficult child 1 was when husband came into the picture, and she does FAR LESS than difficult child 1 EVER did. difficult child 1 at least emptied the dishwasher every single day. I think easy child 2 has done that one time, and that was once when husband was helping, too (if he has to help, he'll make anyone sitting in this house help, too). When easy child 2 and difficult child 2 shared a room, it was always a pigstye and he (and easy child 2) blamed it on difficult child. Now that they don't share a room, wee difficult child's room will have a couple toys on the floor and he usually leaves his clothes on the floor unless I remind him to pick them up, but he keeps his toys mostly sorted on the shelves (they have see-thru boxes for all their toys). The lego box has only legos in it, the lincoln logs are only lincoln logs, the hotwheels box has only cars, etc. easy child's stuff is everywhere. She's got clothes on her shelves and toys in her dresser, parts to games are in 3 or 4 different boxes, she got a tye dye kit for Christmas and ripped it out of the box and took part of it to school, never to return. Some of the bottles are under her bed, some are in her drawers. Her room at her mom's is the same way, as are the rules, I think. Anyway, long story short, husband picks up and puts away 2 tents and their contents instead of making her, and then makes difficult child get out of bed to pick up his 20 legos he left on the floor cause "he needs to do his share!"</p><p>Anyway, I seem to have jumped off on an only slightly relevent tangent...sorry. Its just so frustrating. I told my sister in law simply tat husband took them swimming and she said "How'd that happen? Did <em>princess</em> ask?" Well, as a matter of fact, sister in law, that's <em>exactly </em>what happened. </p><p>Witz, I'm sorry you're experiencing this, too...so sorry. It stinks.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shari, post: 137661, member: 1848"] Susie, I tried to make easy child 2 have some chores and follow same rules, etc. I generally make her pick up toys before she leaves from the weekend or whatever. (the weekend that husband picked up was an exception) but husband is never the one enforcing it. easy child and I have always got along, but she's protective of and by dad (she'll still go crying to him and crawl on his lap if she's in trouble with me). I am the one who takes them on outings, but she'll write thank you cards and give them to dad thanking him for taking her. (and I'm not sure what to make of that, either, if that's a difficult child kinda trait or just her wishful thinking that dad did this stuff with her...). I was having to get onto her pretty hard to follow the same basic rules, and it was just making the disconnect with me bigger. I asked husband to do it, but he forgets or doesn't pay attention or whatever, and then she sees the split between us, and works that to the hilt, so I just dropped it with her. husband supposedly started having her water livestock when she's here on Wed but she did it the first Wed and hasn't since. When I've tried to talk to husband, he has started in on the older boys,or even wee difficult child, saying they don't do enuf. One of the things I bring up to husband when he starts that is to remind him that his daughter is nearly the same age as difficult child 1 was when husband came into the picture, and she does FAR LESS than difficult child 1 EVER did. difficult child 1 at least emptied the dishwasher every single day. I think easy child 2 has done that one time, and that was once when husband was helping, too (if he has to help, he'll make anyone sitting in this house help, too). When easy child 2 and difficult child 2 shared a room, it was always a pigstye and he (and easy child 2) blamed it on difficult child. Now that they don't share a room, wee difficult child's room will have a couple toys on the floor and he usually leaves his clothes on the floor unless I remind him to pick them up, but he keeps his toys mostly sorted on the shelves (they have see-thru boxes for all their toys). The lego box has only legos in it, the lincoln logs are only lincoln logs, the hotwheels box has only cars, etc. easy child's stuff is everywhere. She's got clothes on her shelves and toys in her dresser, parts to games are in 3 or 4 different boxes, she got a tye dye kit for Christmas and ripped it out of the box and took part of it to school, never to return. Some of the bottles are under her bed, some are in her drawers. Her room at her mom's is the same way, as are the rules, I think. Anyway, long story short, husband picks up and puts away 2 tents and their contents instead of making her, and then makes difficult child get out of bed to pick up his 20 legos he left on the floor cause "he needs to do his share!" Anyway, I seem to have jumped off on an only slightly relevent tangent...sorry. Its just so frustrating. I told my sister in law simply tat husband took them swimming and she said "How'd that happen? Did [I]princess[/I] ask?" Well, as a matter of fact, sister in law, that's [I]exactly [/I]what happened. Witz, I'm sorry you're experiencing this, too...so sorry. It stinks. [/QUOTE]
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