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Now I'm just gonna cry.
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 137729"><p>This may be really lame, but I thought I'd pass it along anyway. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>First of all, you have so much on your plate. I have no idea how you manage to do all that you do. From what I've read, you carry about 98% of all household (parenting, cleaning, cooking, repairs, animal care, etc) responsibilities. I would have been angry and ready to cry ages ago. So, right there you're a better woman than I. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" /></p><p></p><p>I kind of set myself up for my house running the way it does - or did. My kids didn't really have any set chores, but I did expect them to help out when I asked. But when I got overwhelmed or too ill to keep up, things went to hell in a handbasket pdq. I was angry because the house was always a disaster and easy child was angry for the same reason plus he was angry because I wasn't keeping up with it. difficult child couldn't have cared less. Ever see that show, "How Clean is Your House?" I so see difficult child on that show in about 10 years.</p><p></p><p>Anyway...</p><p></p><p>I found that really making it a team or family thing made a big difference. I think you posted that you had put up a list of things that needed to be done. It doesn't seem to be working out so well? I'm not sure. But, when I ask my kids to do something it might or might not get done, but it definitely won't get done anytime soon. </p><p></p><p>So, when I'm feeling well enough to take on the house (you could designate a time or something) I gather the kids and tell them we're cleaning. I assign jobs to each kid and myself and we do them at the same time. It feels like everyone is working together and it seems to work really well for us. I have no trouble getting them motivated because everyone is doing something. Whereas, if I just ask one of the kids to vacuum out of the blue, I will be repeating the request multiple times. </p><p></p><p>I would be sure to do this, as well, when easy child 2 is over. I would also put her things that are in her room into a box. Anything that she can name in the box (without peeking) she gets to keep. Otherwise, she doesn't need it. It would go to Goodwill. If she can't take care of it, she doesn't need it. difficult child really didn't like that one. But she started to keep better care of her things after that. It wasn't a cure; she's still a work in progress. But it's been much better.</p><p></p><p>If you're going to be carrying the bulk of the responsibility, it's time to delegate. To husband as well. He doesn't seem to be able to pick and choose the appropriate task. So, prioritize them for him. Include on that list that he is in charge of keeping easy child 2 on task when it comes to her chores and responsibilities. </p><p></p><p>I do think you need to have an honest discussion with him. But sometimes I think some people just need it spelled out. </p><p></p><p>Hope this makes sense. I'm still a bit muddled.</p><p></p><p>Oh. And I LOVE the picture idea. Men are very visual.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 137729"] This may be really lame, but I thought I'd pass it along anyway. :) First of all, you have so much on your plate. I have no idea how you manage to do all that you do. From what I've read, you carry about 98% of all household (parenting, cleaning, cooking, repairs, animal care, etc) responsibilities. I would have been angry and ready to cry ages ago. So, right there you're a better woman than I. :raspberry-tounge: I kind of set myself up for my house running the way it does - or did. My kids didn't really have any set chores, but I did expect them to help out when I asked. But when I got overwhelmed or too ill to keep up, things went to hell in a handbasket pdq. I was angry because the house was always a disaster and easy child was angry for the same reason plus he was angry because I wasn't keeping up with it. difficult child couldn't have cared less. Ever see that show, "How Clean is Your House?" I so see difficult child on that show in about 10 years. Anyway... I found that really making it a team or family thing made a big difference. I think you posted that you had put up a list of things that needed to be done. It doesn't seem to be working out so well? I'm not sure. But, when I ask my kids to do something it might or might not get done, but it definitely won't get done anytime soon. So, when I'm feeling well enough to take on the house (you could designate a time or something) I gather the kids and tell them we're cleaning. I assign jobs to each kid and myself and we do them at the same time. It feels like everyone is working together and it seems to work really well for us. I have no trouble getting them motivated because everyone is doing something. Whereas, if I just ask one of the kids to vacuum out of the blue, I will be repeating the request multiple times. I would be sure to do this, as well, when easy child 2 is over. I would also put her things that are in her room into a box. Anything that she can name in the box (without peeking) she gets to keep. Otherwise, she doesn't need it. It would go to Goodwill. If she can't take care of it, she doesn't need it. difficult child really didn't like that one. But she started to keep better care of her things after that. It wasn't a cure; she's still a work in progress. But it's been much better. If you're going to be carrying the bulk of the responsibility, it's time to delegate. To husband as well. He doesn't seem to be able to pick and choose the appropriate task. So, prioritize them for him. Include on that list that he is in charge of keeping easy child 2 on task when it comes to her chores and responsibilities. I do think you need to have an honest discussion with him. But sometimes I think some people just need it spelled out. Hope this makes sense. I'm still a bit muddled. Oh. And I LOVE the picture idea. Men are very visual. [/QUOTE]
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