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Parent Emeritus
Now that I kicked my 18 year old daughter out, where do I go from here?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 718325" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Counseliors give advice. Ten counselors may give ten answers. Their advice is not a scientific fact that their advice is what you should do. Counseling is largely opinion. </p><p></p><p>Counselor or not, i would NEVER consider bringing a childs current lover into my home, even if he was nice. And this one isnt. I would not even consider it. Its your home/your sancuary. The only people who need to live there are of YOUR choice. And that includes your daughter if she is ubwilling to be kind or respect your house rules or both. You know in your gut that this is a bad man. You dont need a ciunselor to tell you that this man in your house wont enhance anyones life. </p><p></p><p>I have been in therapy most of my life. Sime therapists gave helpful advice. Some did not. I fired the ones I did not think were helpful. I also listened to what they had to say, but only used what I felt was useful. If you are in therapy with daughter, is she trting to use thetapist to bully you? Is therapist buying her crap?</p><p></p><p>If so, i would get another therapist who just sees you, with your best interests in mind. Your daughter lies and is irrational. Therapy with somebody like her is impossible. Dont waste your time. Therapy wont make your relationship better. Your daughter will only be nice to you if you do her bidding, therapy or not.</p><p></p><p>You need a psychologist (I favor them as they have had nore trainung in various methods of therapy) who is all yours. A female in my opinion. One close to your age who understands you. There are many crappy therapists out there. Psychology is not an exact science. So each therapist brings his or her own life to the table. Choose carefully. One who resonates with you can be pure gold. The one you are seeing now reminds me of the one my daughter saw during her drug days who said "you have to trust her."</p><p></p><p>Really? She lied all the time. Climbed out her window at night. Said she was in school when people saw her leaving. Etc. When she told me what clueless shrink said I topd her, "I disagree. Trust is earned." She tried to use this shrink against me but when she couldnt, she quit going.</p><p></p><p>Use your common sense and your gut feeling. Good luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 718325, member: 1550"] Counseliors give advice. Ten counselors may give ten answers. Their advice is not a scientific fact that their advice is what you should do. Counseling is largely opinion. Counselor or not, i would NEVER consider bringing a childs current lover into my home, even if he was nice. And this one isnt. I would not even consider it. Its your home/your sancuary. The only people who need to live there are of YOUR choice. And that includes your daughter if she is ubwilling to be kind or respect your house rules or both. You know in your gut that this is a bad man. You dont need a ciunselor to tell you that this man in your house wont enhance anyones life. I have been in therapy most of my life. Sime therapists gave helpful advice. Some did not. I fired the ones I did not think were helpful. I also listened to what they had to say, but only used what I felt was useful. If you are in therapy with daughter, is she trting to use thetapist to bully you? Is therapist buying her crap? If so, i would get another therapist who just sees you, with your best interests in mind. Your daughter lies and is irrational. Therapy with somebody like her is impossible. Dont waste your time. Therapy wont make your relationship better. Your daughter will only be nice to you if you do her bidding, therapy or not. You need a psychologist (I favor them as they have had nore trainung in various methods of therapy) who is all yours. A female in my opinion. One close to your age who understands you. There are many crappy therapists out there. Psychology is not an exact science. So each therapist brings his or her own life to the table. Choose carefully. One who resonates with you can be pure gold. The one you are seeing now reminds me of the one my daughter saw during her drug days who said "you have to trust her." Really? She lied all the time. Climbed out her window at night. Said she was in school when people saw her leaving. Etc. When she told me what clueless shrink said I topd her, "I disagree. Trust is earned." She tried to use this shrink against me but when she couldnt, she quit going. Use your common sense and your gut feeling. Good luck. [/QUOTE]
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Now that I kicked my 18 year old daughter out, where do I go from here?
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