Now we have to tell others

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by FTN, Feb 29, 2008.

  1. FTN

    FTN New Member

    Now we have to tell difficult children friends parents about what has happened to easy child #1 and #2 Why? Because difficult child has invited a friend to go with her to her "father's" house next weekend.
  2. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Wait, I missed out on the explanation.
    And FWIW, how do you know anything will happen with-a stranger?
    If it's that bad, you may need to stop the visits.
  3. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I'd be real careful on this one. Sadly, there are legal ramifications for you since the DA refused to press charges if you do say something. At the same time, there are moral obligations. Phrase things very very carefully. Do not state anything as fact, just as rumor.

    Does the 9 YO know what has happened to her sisters yet? If not, this is something else that would have to be factored in when telling the parents. Would they tell their daughter why she can't go? If so, there is no way it won't get back to yours.

    People are going to wonder why this little one is allowed to go to someone you suspect of molesting little girls. They're not going to understand courts, etc.

    Sadly, you're on very soft ground on this one. There are no, right good answers for your family. There is simply the moral obligation to protect an innocent. I'm sorry.
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so very sorry. When my difficult child was hurting his sister we had to explain to some very close friends why their daughters were not allowed over here. It was very hard, but we could not take chances with safety. It was hard enough keeping the family safe.

    This is very hard. Do they know her dad in any way?

    Has she been evaluated by CPS or DHS to see if she has been abused by him? Or was it just the older 2? Her behavior upon returning home after the last session was very disturbing. I think it would be a good idea for someone professional to evaluate her again, if it was not VERY recent.

    I would be very careful in saying things, but would strongly feel a duty to let them know. A number of child molestors use children to bring more children to them. The child might think it won't happen, or she might feel better someone else than her. While I would not want her to have to deal with this, it is not uncommon.

    Is there any way you can get her evaluated ASAP?? I know when their were questions with my niece the professionals met with her the same day there were suspicions. Luckily it was NOT any kind of abuse, but it does take a professional to sort this out.


  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Again, I can't express this enough (and am puzzled why there is no feedback from you) GET HER HELP! That way she can understand that Daddy is a dangerous man and that she can't ask friends over there. I don't get the reluctance to get help for this desperately needy child.