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General Parenting
ODD or just being stubborn?
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 82877" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Sadly, some of it is her age. If there is a nastier, meaner stage for girls then pre-pubescent and early puberty, I don't know what it is.</p><p></p><p>It may be easier to give her a timer and only allow computer usage during that time. When I did this with my daughter, I actually had to use two timers -- one where she would see it and one that she couldn't change the time on because it was on me. And I didn't bother wasting my words, when the timer went off, the keyboard and mouse were immediately removed (hooked them to front for easy access). It did cause some meltdowns at first, but quickly stopped when a meltdown caused no computer access for a week. Of course, you have to warn this will be happening if you go this route and her sister will have to have the same rules.</p><p></p><p>As to showering, it was truly something I let go during this age. Some battles just aren't worth it. I would tell her she had one hour to get ready for bed. During that time, she was supposed to brush her teeth, take a shower, get her clothes out for the next day, pack up her backpack (her homework was already in it since I made sure of that). Anything not done was her problem not mine. Bedtime was bedtime and if she wasn't in bed quietly, loss of privileges would occur -- usually one hour for each 5 minutes.</p><p></p><p>And, yes, ODD kids don't care -- at least they say they do. The future consequences aren't tangible, so do not matter at that moment. I found the only way they did matter is if I was very consistent, the consequence was for certain behavior was given well in advance of an action and having it in writing and posted on her door didn't hurt.</p><p></p><p>If it helps, just remember this phase, too, will pass.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 82877, member: 3626"] Sadly, some of it is her age. If there is a nastier, meaner stage for girls then pre-pubescent and early puberty, I don't know what it is. It may be easier to give her a timer and only allow computer usage during that time. When I did this with my daughter, I actually had to use two timers -- one where she would see it and one that she couldn't change the time on because it was on me. And I didn't bother wasting my words, when the timer went off, the keyboard and mouse were immediately removed (hooked them to front for easy access). It did cause some meltdowns at first, but quickly stopped when a meltdown caused no computer access for a week. Of course, you have to warn this will be happening if you go this route and her sister will have to have the same rules. As to showering, it was truly something I let go during this age. Some battles just aren't worth it. I would tell her she had one hour to get ready for bed. During that time, she was supposed to brush her teeth, take a shower, get her clothes out for the next day, pack up her backpack (her homework was already in it since I made sure of that). Anything not done was her problem not mine. Bedtime was bedtime and if she wasn't in bed quietly, loss of privileges would occur -- usually one hour for each 5 minutes. And, yes, ODD kids don't care -- at least they say they do. The future consequences aren't tangible, so do not matter at that moment. I found the only way they did matter is if I was very consistent, the consequence was for certain behavior was given well in advance of an action and having it in writing and posted on her door didn't hurt. If it helps, just remember this phase, too, will pass. [/QUOTE]
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