ODD Teacher Request????

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by troubledheart, Oct 7, 2009.

  1. troubledheart

    troubledheart New Member

    I have an weird request from a teacher of my difficult child....

    His homeroom teacher asked the EBD teacher to come into the homeroom class and discuss with the kids my difficult child's specific problems/disability and why he acts out in class. My son is not happy with this and doesn't want people talking about him and what is wrong. The EBD teacher asked me today about doing it, but said she didn't feel comfortable and maybe she could do a class on general behaviors and how not everyone is the same and have different brains and different reactions to the same thing. BUT here is my ordeal....even if she does this, these kids will know who they are talking about, and I feel like this might subject him to more ridicule and teasing, but then again, maybe it would help to explain to these kids what is wrong. I would like to get opinions on this.....I am torn:faint:
  2. Sagegrad

    Sagegrad New Member

    in my opinion I would veto it. My daughter gets very upset when she thinks others are talking about her and something like this would definately push her over the edge. Does the teacher honestly think explaining to a group of 12 yo's is going to make things easier on your son? I really doubt it. Just my 2 cents.
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I would never allow it.
  4. troubledheart

    troubledheart New Member

    I told her no. She agrees with me, but still wants to do the general "kids are all different, and it is okay" thing.....urghhh. We get test results tomorrow from the Neuro psychiatric...gonna be a long day tomorrow and then to get the school to go along with the recommendations, that should be fun!
  5. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    The only way I would allow this would be if my child were agreeable. Since your son isn't, then no way would I permit this. Since it would be obvious who the EBD teacher was talking about even if she spoke in generic terms, I would consider it a gross violation of your son's right to privacy.

    There are programs out there to promote inclusion and understanding of all kinds of disabilities - Circle of Friends is the one I've heard of most (not that any of my kids' schools ever used it). If the classroom teacher wanted to do a unit on *all* disabilities, that would be a whole different thing (in my opinion) because it wouldn't single your son out (and I might have to send her a bouquet of flowers because I'm all about inclusion and understanding ;) ).

    I think her heart might be in the right place, but she's not considering the impact on your son of an explanation of a specific type of disability (his).
  6. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    I think it would depend on the teacher. A couple of years ago, my son had a few "accomodations" put in place for ADHD. He had a special cushion on his chair and was allowed to play with a stress ball at his desk. Also in the class was a child with a severe peanut allergy AND a child with a heart condition. The teacher herself walked with a cane.

    The teacher was very big about accomodating everyone AND explaining to the class about differences. She used her own disability as an example all the time. She would say "Just because I walk funny, does that mean EVERYBODY has to walk funny? " And she would always emphasize the fact that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses.

    So, I think it depends entirely upon the teacher and the classroom environment and the way in which it will be explained.

    Trust your instincts!

  7. tictoc

    tictoc New Member

    We are considering something similar for Bug right now. The sp ed teacher thinks it might be time to tell his class about Tourette's Syndrome and explain why Bug sometimes makes faces. We know another child with Tourette's Syndrome at his school for whom the sp ed teacher makes a presentation at the beginning of each school year. The teacher thinks we should do it before kids start imitating Bug.

    We are leaning towards letting her do the presentation at some point, but only discuss his tics. I would not want her to discuss his behavior. And, we are talking about first grade here, not middle school.
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Make sure you tell the school what YOU want for your son. You have that right. Will this be an IEP meeting? If so, I recommend an advocate with you on your son's behalf. You can find them by calling your State Dept. of Public Education. Without one, you CAN get bullied by the SD and feel very helpless and frustrated.
  9. hoobear

    hoobear Guest

    My easy child (13) doesn't even want to be seen asking for extra help in math class. It is such a tender age; they don't want to be singled out for being different. in my humble opinion, and I taught middle school, unless it was a whole unit on diversity, I would veto it. I'm sure there are very good intentions behind the idea.
  10. therese005us

    therese005us New Member

    I wouldn't want the teacher doing it, would it be possible that a presentation could be made on a number of topics, by a guest speaker, such as for MS etc.? so it would be a general discussion and less obvious that a specific child is being targetted?
    Very tricky. However, your son is old enough to make the decision about it, and I'm with the others, if he disagrees, you need to respect that. It's his school life you're discussing here.

    Good luck with it.
  11. troubledheart

    troubledheart New Member

    Thanks everyone for the advice....I will have to mull it over. I got advice from a friend at home to have my difficult child do it. Her son talked about it and it worked out well for him. i am afraid it will backfire on my difficult child....

    We have the neuro psychiatric results today and I will talk to his doctors about it....urgh...I am tired....
  12. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I really wouldn't do this .... it could potentially backfire. I assume that your difficult child has social skills issues already; imagine (with kids at this age) how much harder it would be for him at school.

    I'm guessing this teacher is more Pollyanna'ish or a very young one to suggest this. Is she aware of how sophisticated kids are these days? How much harm this could do to your difficult child?

    JMHO on the matter.
  13. lizanne2

    lizanne2 New Member

    I know it sounds good but........I would follow your son's lead.
  14. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    My difficult child would have freaked. He's not one to want anyone to know "his stuff". Seems your son is sending that message. For that reason alone, I would say no. I would also state your concerns about a "general" topic in the classroom since you realize it would be obvious to the students that they are referring to your difficult child. I think in a situation with tics (from tourette's etc) it would be a possibly simpler process.
    I don't see a need for other students to know his business when he doesnt' want that. Truthfully, kids can be mean. I doubt having that knowledge would change any teasing. My easy child actually gets teased in ways difficult child never got teased when his behaviours at school were beyond the realm. And my easy child is a good student, well behaved, fits in well (seemingly). I can't see it helping your difficult child when he doesn't want his information shared. I also think that if the teacher plans a "general" conversation that is spurred by her good meaning intentions to assist the students in understanding your difficult child better, she should be asked to not do so. It would be different if many children in the class have obvious issues. No singling out that way.

    Regardless of how its handled, I do hope that your difficult child finds a peace at school. Being a kid stinks on a good day in this age, with the way kids can be such buttinskees!