Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Of course he makes me feel guilty
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="donna723" data-source="post: 71303" data-attributes="member: 1883"><p>See! Told you, didn't I! - He's TAP DANCIN'! :dance:</p><p></p><p>Men are sooo predictable about these things! They all use the <em>very same</em> excuses and the <em>very same</em> tactics! And nobody ever believes them! I swear ... I think when they're in high school they must call them all in for secret "guy" classes, show movies and pass out little handbooks! "<em>If she catches you and she says <u>this</u>, then you counter with <u>this</u>!"</em></p><p> :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: <span style='font-size: 8pt'>(class of 1982)</span></p><p></p><p>"...<em>It did not take long for him to become the victim here</em>." ... That's what they do! They desperately try to level the playing field - make something <em>you</em> do (or did) sound as bad if not worse than what <em>they</em> did, even if it sounds ridiculous to everyone else! My ex used to equate <u>my</u> occasional disapproving <em>facial expressions</em> with <u>his</u> cheating, drinking, lying, cruelty and abusiveness! Made sense to HIM only! One HUGE indicator of infidelity is when the one who's doing it starts accusing the one who's not of doing it too! Even if they know they're not! Does that make sense? He's grasping at straws and trying to put you on the defensive ... he's desperately trying to convince himself that <em>you're</em> as bad as he is so he doesn't have to feel guilty anymore! He's "fishing"! He's trying to find something that he can blow out of proportion and use against you. They HATE feeling guilty and will go to any lengths to convince themselves that it's not their fauilt!</p><p></p><p>" ... <em>These are the things he does that make me feel guilty and start thinking I have done something to cause this and end up staying</em>" ... they do this too! They try desperately to "muddy the waters", keep you on the defensive, keep you off balance, confused, and trying to make sense of it all. Rise above it, and don't fall for it!</p><p></p><p>" ... <em>she took care of him if you know what I mean????? He doesn't consider this sex." </em> ... Uh ... Your real name isn't "Hillary" by any chance, is it? </p><p></p><p> :flower: I'm not trying to make light of your situation. I'm really not. I've been there myself and I know how much it hurts. And I just can't imagine having to contend with all this B.S. at a time when you're already so vulnerable and going through so much pain. If it's at all possible, try rise above his pathetic silliness and don't let yourself be drawn in to it. Try to emotionally <em>remove yourself</em> from the situation and look at it the way someone else who wasn't in the middle of it would. I think you've done a wonderful job of holding it together so far ... much better than I would have!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="donna723, post: 71303, member: 1883"] See! Told you, didn't I! - He's TAP DANCIN'! [img]:dance:[/img] Men are sooo predictable about these things! They all use the [i]very same[/i] excuses and the [i]very same[/i] tactics! And nobody ever believes them! I swear ... I think when they're in high school they must call them all in for secret "guy" classes, show movies and pass out little handbooks! "[i]If she catches you and she says <u>this</u>, then you counter with <u>this</u>!"[/i] [img]:dance:[/img] [img]:dance:[/img] [img]:dance:[/img] [img]:dance:[/img] [img]:dance:[/img] [img]:dance:[/img] <span style='font-size: 8pt'>(class of 1982)</span> "...[i]It did not take long for him to become the victim here[/i]." ... That's what they do! They desperately try to level the playing field - make something [i]you[/i] do (or did) sound as bad if not worse than what [i]they[/i] did, even if it sounds ridiculous to everyone else! My ex used to equate <u>my</u> occasional disapproving [i]facial expressions[/i] with <u>his</u> cheating, drinking, lying, cruelty and abusiveness! Made sense to HIM only! One HUGE indicator of infidelity is when the one who's doing it starts accusing the one who's not of doing it too! Even if they know they're not! Does that make sense? He's grasping at straws and trying to put you on the defensive ... he's desperately trying to convince himself that [i]you're[/i] as bad as he is so he doesn't have to feel guilty anymore! He's "fishing"! He's trying to find something that he can blow out of proportion and use against you. They HATE feeling guilty and will go to any lengths to convince themselves that it's not their fauilt! " ... [i]These are the things he does that make me feel guilty and start thinking I have done something to cause this and end up staying[/i]" ... they do this too! They try desperately to "muddy the waters", keep you on the defensive, keep you off balance, confused, and trying to make sense of it all. Rise above it, and don't fall for it! " ... [i]she took care of him if you know what I mean????? He doesn't consider this sex." [/i] ... Uh ... Your real name isn't "Hillary" by any chance, is it? [img]:flower:[/img] I'm not trying to make light of your situation. I'm really not. I've been there myself and I know how much it hurts. And I just can't imagine having to contend with all this B.S. at a time when you're already so vulnerable and going through so much pain. If it's at all possible, try rise above his pathetic silliness and don't let yourself be drawn in to it. Try to emotionally [i]remove yourself[/i] from the situation and look at it the way someone else who wasn't in the middle of it would. I think you've done a wonderful job of holding it together so far ... much better than I would have! [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Of course he makes me feel guilty
Top