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Substance Abuse
Of course she did
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 550438" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>PG, you need to stop beating yourself up for giving her the car. You gave her the car to give her a chance to help herself. what she did wth the car is NOT on you. She is an adult just like you are. What she did/does with the car is on HER. At least as long as the title wasn't in your name, which I pray it isn't.</p><p></p><p>It is easy to be upset with ourselves for something like this but it isn't helpful or productive. You gave her an opportunity, she wasted it, that is on HER. You need to remember this when she wants something from you in the future, but you are NOT responsible for what she did with the vehicle.</p><p></p><p>Why not put the blame for her actions where it belongs, which is on HER shoulders and not yours? Maybe you should talk with someone about why you are taking blame for her actions to figure out what this is doing for you and how to handle it in a more healthy way? This is only a suggestion, and I hope it isn't overstepping.</p><p></p><p>It is easy to think that if we had done this or not done that then our addict would have done/not done the other thing. All that does is allow the addict to not take full responsibility. It isn't fair to us OR to the addict.</p><p></p><p>You are a very loving mom and I know it is hard.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 550438, member: 1233"] PG, you need to stop beating yourself up for giving her the car. You gave her the car to give her a chance to help herself. what she did wth the car is NOT on you. She is an adult just like you are. What she did/does with the car is on HER. At least as long as the title wasn't in your name, which I pray it isn't. It is easy to be upset with ourselves for something like this but it isn't helpful or productive. You gave her an opportunity, she wasted it, that is on HER. You need to remember this when she wants something from you in the future, but you are NOT responsible for what she did with the vehicle. Why not put the blame for her actions where it belongs, which is on HER shoulders and not yours? Maybe you should talk with someone about why you are taking blame for her actions to figure out what this is doing for you and how to handle it in a more healthy way? This is only a suggestion, and I hope it isn't overstepping. It is easy to think that if we had done this or not done that then our addict would have done/not done the other thing. All that does is allow the addict to not take full responsibility. It isn't fair to us OR to the addict. You are a very loving mom and I know it is hard. [/QUOTE]
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