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Substance Abuse
Offered addiction study to D, 20...
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 743748" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Our insurance paid for pot and where we live there is legalized marijuana.My son is 30 and we have been down this block now for a long time. Your son is clearly saying HE WANTS POT. My son has always insisted the same. NOT ONE THING I HAVE DONE OR SAID OR THREATENED has changed this. I hate pot. I hate what it has done to him. But the thing is this: The only control you have is to cut him lose, if you don't like his behavior around you. Like this:</p><p>I would be clear with myself about this. That he does not want to stop. That 500 studies will not get him to stop. What will get him to stop some day is his own disgust with himself and his life, and his dissatisfaction with his life. What this means, is that he will have to suffer in order to himself have the motivation to re-evaluate what he is doing.</p><p>This is the kind of suffering he will have to experience. If he blows court off, there will be consequences to him.</p><p></p><p>Your story is reminding me of Lil's son. Who changed when he went to Colorado so he could get all of the legal pot he wanted. For him in the end it was not about Pot. He seems to have righted himself, with independence, a really nice girlfriend, and the motivation to please her.</p><p></p><p>What I am learning little by little is that what we want in our children is responsibility for their choices, and to learn. When I step in and make decisions, decide priorities, impose goals, I am working against the very thing I want, that my son chooses for himself, experiences life, and learns to live better. I still do the same thing: I want things for him that he does not want for himself. But way less so. With the help of many people here I am learning to limit what I want to the most important and essential thing for me, which is his health. But that means that he cannot be living near me because I find his lifestyle choices very difficult to bear. I do not know who will be the first one to give him, him or me.</p><p></p><p>The question I have is this: are you prepared emotionally that he leave your house? If he does not want to quit pot, he most likely won't. You have to ask yourself if you are shooting yourself in the foot?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 743748, member: 18958"] Our insurance paid for pot and where we live there is legalized marijuana.My son is 30 and we have been down this block now for a long time. Your son is clearly saying HE WANTS POT. My son has always insisted the same. NOT ONE THING I HAVE DONE OR SAID OR THREATENED has changed this. I hate pot. I hate what it has done to him. But the thing is this: The only control you have is to cut him lose, if you don't like his behavior around you. Like this: I would be clear with myself about this. That he does not want to stop. That 500 studies will not get him to stop. What will get him to stop some day is his own disgust with himself and his life, and his dissatisfaction with his life. What this means, is that he will have to suffer in order to himself have the motivation to re-evaluate what he is doing. This is the kind of suffering he will have to experience. If he blows court off, there will be consequences to him. Your story is reminding me of Lil's son. Who changed when he went to Colorado so he could get all of the legal pot he wanted. For him in the end it was not about Pot. He seems to have righted himself, with independence, a really nice girlfriend, and the motivation to please her. What I am learning little by little is that what we want in our children is responsibility for their choices, and to learn. When I step in and make decisions, decide priorities, impose goals, I am working against the very thing I want, that my son chooses for himself, experiences life, and learns to live better. I still do the same thing: I want things for him that he does not want for himself. But way less so. With the help of many people here I am learning to limit what I want to the most important and essential thing for me, which is his health. But that means that he cannot be living near me because I find his lifestyle choices very difficult to bear. I do not know who will be the first one to give him, him or me. The question I have is this: are you prepared emotionally that he leave your house? If he does not want to quit pot, he most likely won't. You have to ask yourself if you are shooting yourself in the foot? [/QUOTE]
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