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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Oh boy, decided to hash it out with difficult child and it is NOT going well. I walked away+
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 500211" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>(((((hugs))))) You are right. NO mom should go through this. I am so sorry that drugs have taken over his life this way. I am sure you are right about him trying to string you along for the rent check to clear. He made this decision before he ever told you about the debts. </p><p></p><p>I really hope that in time he can see what a disaster he is creating and he can figure out that it cannot get better until he gets clean and sober. In the meantime, what can you do for YOUR sanity and recovery? What can you do to help your other sons? Have you taken them to an alateen meeting? It would likely be a good idea. Your son is GOING to use them to get whatever he can. If he stays around your home they will probably notice their things have gone missing - stolen by him and sold to buy drugs, etc.... They NEED the straight story and may have very valuable information that you don't have. Either way, they NEED to get help to understand all that is happening to their much loved big brother. If you don't give them the info, they will make their own conclusions and it might or might not be the truth. It might seem to htem that you are unreasonable and it isn't the drugs causing the problem but instead it is your "lack of love and support" or "unreasonable demands" of difficult child - all depending on what he tells them. </p><p></p><p>PLEASE get them some help from a therapist and take them to alateen so they can start to learn about the FAMILY disease that now inhabits ALL OF YOU, not just difficult child. Otherwise they could end up idolizing him and his druggie ways because they seem "fun" and "glamorous" even though we all know they are NOT.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 500211, member: 1233"] (((((hugs))))) You are right. NO mom should go through this. I am so sorry that drugs have taken over his life this way. I am sure you are right about him trying to string you along for the rent check to clear. He made this decision before he ever told you about the debts. I really hope that in time he can see what a disaster he is creating and he can figure out that it cannot get better until he gets clean and sober. In the meantime, what can you do for YOUR sanity and recovery? What can you do to help your other sons? Have you taken them to an alateen meeting? It would likely be a good idea. Your son is GOING to use them to get whatever he can. If he stays around your home they will probably notice their things have gone missing - stolen by him and sold to buy drugs, etc.... They NEED the straight story and may have very valuable information that you don't have. Either way, they NEED to get help to understand all that is happening to their much loved big brother. If you don't give them the info, they will make their own conclusions and it might or might not be the truth. It might seem to htem that you are unreasonable and it isn't the drugs causing the problem but instead it is your "lack of love and support" or "unreasonable demands" of difficult child - all depending on what he tells them. PLEASE get them some help from a therapist and take them to alateen so they can start to learn about the FAMILY disease that now inhabits ALL OF YOU, not just difficult child. Otherwise they could end up idolizing him and his druggie ways because they seem "fun" and "glamorous" even though we all know they are NOT. [/QUOTE]
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Oh boy, decided to hash it out with difficult child and it is NOT going well. I walked away+
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