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Oh boy...trouble in my family
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 611666" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hi UAN......</p><p></p><p>Wow what a sticky situation. Ahhhhhhh the "dozens" I love family mud festivals. This is mostly why I do not have a family. Well that's a lie. I don't have a family because they died. (chuckles to self) That and they're *******s. If you have never met anyone that has disowned their entire family because they are jerks? You can say you know one now. After my Grandmother passed? When she had no Grandsons that could "man up" and trust me those are not my original words of choice to carry her casket to her final resting place? So I did five months pregnant with my Father and some stranger from the Funeral home? You bet I disowned every last one of them. When I did? They had the usual mud fest and like your family all the pent up terra-firma came spewing forth. Was a wonderful thing to sit and listen to their version of the truth once and for all because I don't think any of them would know the truth if it bit them twice and left a laceration large enough wanting for stitchery. </p><p>The important thing from this point out however is (and this is key) You know where they stand because people in anger show their hand. They've spilled their beans and told their secrets and unless they are inhuman they've really given up all their ghosts. You on the other hand have not. Home team 1 visitor 0. Big old fat zero. Human condition is marvelous isn't it? </p><p></p><p>I think what I would do is invite him to meet with your husband alone, not you, not her.....not the kids. Mano a mano. Since you were touched in your secret garden.....I think I'd let your husband plow this jerks field. Really. This man needs to know the sober truth about what he did. No family drama. I'm kind of catty so I'd meet in a bar. (You think I jest---I'd meet in the same bar old pickle head got sauced in) Maybe the surroundings would bring back some memories of the night. </p><p></p><p>Does the act get forgiven? Nope. Does it go away? I think that's up to you and husband. Does he and the wifey get to come to the wedding? Not likely. But does the responsibility of TELLING wifey lay with him? Yeah I think it does. And I think I'd give him about 10 -20 minutes to do that...(maybe you call her and tell her that they are at the (restaurant bar and she should go there if she wants to know the story) ...because I'd have her meet THEM at the restaurant/bar----about 10 -20 minutes AFTER your DF told brother in law what and WHY they were banned from the wedding. If you wanted to show up after she did? So be it, but I think a lady's honor is at stake here so IF I were you I'd let my husband handle the situation and then wait at home for him to tell me what THEY said and see if THEY would be honest with the family about why they were NOT invited to the wedding. </p><p></p><p>I think it's CLASSY.....I think it's KIND,,,,,,I think it's HONEST......and I think it's straightforward. It also gets both of you off the hook, with the rest of the family because BOTH of you have told BOTH of them. Then I think I'd have husband also say to them.....that he appreciated THEM being so honest and let them know that all the ugly things that THEY said to YOUR family about Father????? You'll remember, but keep to yourselves because it was ugly and hurtful. Then leave and explain it will take time for him to decide if he wants his brother in law to be back around HIS WIFE. Drunk or sober. But.....he's forgiven.....just not forgotten. </p><p></p><p></p><p>I think all people should be forgiven.....Just like we're forgiven. If we want to be forgiven we should forgive others. Keeps you from buying a boatload of Nexium too. </p><p></p><p>Hugs & Love </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 611666, member: 4964"] Hi UAN...... Wow what a sticky situation. Ahhhhhhh the "dozens" I love family mud festivals. This is mostly why I do not have a family. Well that's a lie. I don't have a family because they died. (chuckles to self) That and they're *******s. If you have never met anyone that has disowned their entire family because they are jerks? You can say you know one now. After my Grandmother passed? When she had no Grandsons that could "man up" and trust me those are not my original words of choice to carry her casket to her final resting place? So I did five months pregnant with my Father and some stranger from the Funeral home? You bet I disowned every last one of them. When I did? They had the usual mud fest and like your family all the pent up terra-firma came spewing forth. Was a wonderful thing to sit and listen to their version of the truth once and for all because I don't think any of them would know the truth if it bit them twice and left a laceration large enough wanting for stitchery. The important thing from this point out however is (and this is key) You know where they stand because people in anger show their hand. They've spilled their beans and told their secrets and unless they are inhuman they've really given up all their ghosts. You on the other hand have not. Home team 1 visitor 0. Big old fat zero. Human condition is marvelous isn't it? I think what I would do is invite him to meet with your husband alone, not you, not her.....not the kids. Mano a mano. Since you were touched in your secret garden.....I think I'd let your husband plow this jerks field. Really. This man needs to know the sober truth about what he did. No family drama. I'm kind of catty so I'd meet in a bar. (You think I jest---I'd meet in the same bar old pickle head got sauced in) Maybe the surroundings would bring back some memories of the night. Does the act get forgiven? Nope. Does it go away? I think that's up to you and husband. Does he and the wifey get to come to the wedding? Not likely. But does the responsibility of TELLING wifey lay with him? Yeah I think it does. And I think I'd give him about 10 -20 minutes to do that...(maybe you call her and tell her that they are at the (restaurant bar and she should go there if she wants to know the story) ...because I'd have her meet THEM at the restaurant/bar----about 10 -20 minutes AFTER your DF told brother in law what and WHY they were banned from the wedding. If you wanted to show up after she did? So be it, but I think a lady's honor is at stake here so IF I were you I'd let my husband handle the situation and then wait at home for him to tell me what THEY said and see if THEY would be honest with the family about why they were NOT invited to the wedding. I think it's CLASSY.....I think it's KIND,,,,,,I think it's HONEST......and I think it's straightforward. It also gets both of you off the hook, with the rest of the family because BOTH of you have told BOTH of them. Then I think I'd have husband also say to them.....that he appreciated THEM being so honest and let them know that all the ugly things that THEY said to YOUR family about Father????? You'll remember, but keep to yourselves because it was ugly and hurtful. Then leave and explain it will take time for him to decide if he wants his brother in law to be back around HIS WIFE. Drunk or sober. But.....he's forgiven.....just not forgotten. I think all people should be forgiven.....Just like we're forgiven. If we want to be forgiven we should forgive others. Keeps you from buying a boatload of Nexium too. Hugs & Love Star [/QUOTE]
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