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Oh boy
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 468969" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>I do feel a curious detachment and numbness towards J when he is being so difficult (and actually, in terms of what it could be, it isn't even <strong>that</strong> difficult - but really that is not relevant in a way) that alarms me. Like looking at the heart of darkness, if that makes any sense... Underneath the apparent frozen lack of feeling or caring about him in those moments a lot must be happening. That is why I speak about the need for further counselling. </p><p>Of course I chose to commit to this child and to be his parent. I didn't know he was going to have these issues. Would I have turned away from this particular child if I had known? In all honesty, yes, probably - but that too means nothing... To turn away in fear is just a refusal to engage with life, really. This is life and how it is. Sounds like a platitude, perhaps, but it is something that goes deeper than that. </p><p>I do not regret having adopted J. I just do not know if I am up to the challenge sometimes... Tomorrow is another day, as I said to J when we kissed goodnight...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 468969, member: 11227"] I do feel a curious detachment and numbness towards J when he is being so difficult (and actually, in terms of what it could be, it isn't even [B]that[/B] difficult - but really that is not relevant in a way) that alarms me. Like looking at the heart of darkness, if that makes any sense... Underneath the apparent frozen lack of feeling or caring about him in those moments a lot must be happening. That is why I speak about the need for further counselling. Of course I chose to commit to this child and to be his parent. I didn't know he was going to have these issues. Would I have turned away from this particular child if I had known? In all honesty, yes, probably - but that too means nothing... To turn away in fear is just a refusal to engage with life, really. This is life and how it is. Sounds like a platitude, perhaps, but it is something that goes deeper than that. I do not regret having adopted J. I just do not know if I am up to the challenge sometimes... Tomorrow is another day, as I said to J when we kissed goodnight... [/QUOTE]
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