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Oh boy
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 468999" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I don't know if this helps, but I have one biological son, then deliberately decided to adopt (for many reasons). My biological son was very difficult to raise and had many issues. It is hit or miss and if you want to talk logical talk to yourself, when you get in the mood and start thinking "my biological child would not be this way"...you may want to add, "Actually, I don't know how my biological child would be. He could have even worse problems." Children give us no guarantees. I am the closest to my two girls, both adopted, and the most like my youngest adopted daughter. I am least close to my biological son. </p><p>Don't beat yourself up for feeling cold toward J. when he is acting up. I really think this is common. That doesn't mean you don't love him. YOU get hurt too. We ALL get hurt. And who can hurt us more than our child? Feeling hurt does not lead to feeling affectionate. </p><p>Have YOU ever considered counseling to sort out your feelings? That can be a lifesaver and really help you put everything into perspective. Have you ever seen this prayer? I do not know if you believe in God or not, but it can help you either way (if you don't have a God, just take God out of it and substitute it with something else:"</p><p>God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change,</p><p>The courage to change the things I can,</p><p>And the Wisdom to know the difference.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 468999, member: 1550"] I don't know if this helps, but I have one biological son, then deliberately decided to adopt (for many reasons). My biological son was very difficult to raise and had many issues. It is hit or miss and if you want to talk logical talk to yourself, when you get in the mood and start thinking "my biological child would not be this way"...you may want to add, "Actually, I don't know how my biological child would be. He could have even worse problems." Children give us no guarantees. I am the closest to my two girls, both adopted, and the most like my youngest adopted daughter. I am least close to my biological son. Don't beat yourself up for feeling cold toward J. when he is acting up. I really think this is common. That doesn't mean you don't love him. YOU get hurt too. We ALL get hurt. And who can hurt us more than our child? Feeling hurt does not lead to feeling affectionate. Have YOU ever considered counseling to sort out your feelings? That can be a lifesaver and really help you put everything into perspective. Have you ever seen this prayer? I do not know if you believe in God or not, but it can help you either way (if you don't have a God, just take God out of it and substitute it with something else:" God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, The courage to change the things I can, And the Wisdom to know the difference. [/QUOTE]
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