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Oh brother some things never change.
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 513251" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p>Jody, I tolerate my exh, he was/is a loser, quit his job when my girls were little to avoid having child support garnished from his wages and didn't want to cover them for medical (I had to get them Medicaid). There is a long laundry list of reasons why he is my ex. </p><p></p><p>That said, as the girls grew older, sticking to my rule of no bad mouthing but not keeping them from him, they learned how certain relationships are limited. He once said to me that when they are adults, they will see MY true colors! Lol, what a joke. In actuality, what they saw were HIS true colors.</p><p></p><p>They maintain a relationship with him, they don't know about a lot of the bs he put us through or the fact that he owed $30,000 in back child support. Like star said, you had your relationship with him, now it's her turn. Chances are very good she will get sucked into the vortex and feel sorry for him before she realizes he's a user.</p><p></p><p>Just last week, my difficult child and her boyfriend visited her dad. They ended up buying him groceries. Nice gesture, but it really burns my bisquit considering that they owe me money and hardly have enough to support themselves not to mention all the money I've spent on her without exs help, Know what I mean?? easy child and difficult child always buy him great birthday and Christmas presents, but he never seems to have money to buy them presents. I know, it's not about the presents, but it is about the upside down condition of their relationship. My daughters are parenting their parent. And it's sickening to me. But they are adults and like I said, they make their own choices.</p><p></p><p>Jody, I would have a nice long chat with your daughter, not a bashing session, but be honest. Let her know that you're telling her this so she doesn't get her hopes up for a meaningful relationship because it's unlikely. If she really needs to go, take her and wait in the car if you have to. But do not let her go alone, HE WILL TRY TO MANIPULATE HER. If you can tolerate the time with him at least just this once, I would just so you can be witness to any requests he makes and intervene if necessary.</p><p></p><p>Big hugs, this is not easy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 513251, member: 2211"] Jody, I tolerate my exh, he was/is a loser, quit his job when my girls were little to avoid having child support garnished from his wages and didn't want to cover them for medical (I had to get them Medicaid). There is a long laundry list of reasons why he is my ex. That said, as the girls grew older, sticking to my rule of no bad mouthing but not keeping them from him, they learned how certain relationships are limited. He once said to me that when they are adults, they will see MY true colors! Lol, what a joke. In actuality, what they saw were HIS true colors. They maintain a relationship with him, they don't know about a lot of the bs he put us through or the fact that he owed $30,000 in back child support. Like star said, you had your relationship with him, now it's her turn. Chances are very good she will get sucked into the vortex and feel sorry for him before she realizes he's a user. Just last week, my difficult child and her boyfriend visited her dad. They ended up buying him groceries. Nice gesture, but it really burns my bisquit considering that they owe me money and hardly have enough to support themselves not to mention all the money I've spent on her without exs help, Know what I mean?? easy child and difficult child always buy him great birthday and Christmas presents, but he never seems to have money to buy them presents. I know, it's not about the presents, but it is about the upside down condition of their relationship. My daughters are parenting their parent. And it's sickening to me. But they are adults and like I said, they make their own choices. Jody, I would have a nice long chat with your daughter, not a bashing session, but be honest. Let her know that you're telling her this so she doesn't get her hopes up for a meaningful relationship because it's unlikely. If she really needs to go, take her and wait in the car if you have to. But do not let her go alone, HE WILL TRY TO MANIPULATE HER. If you can tolerate the time with him at least just this once, I would just so you can be witness to any requests he makes and intervene if necessary. Big hugs, this is not easy. [/QUOTE]
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