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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 374706" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>I think getting on your own feet with a job that you worked so hard to get will be an example to K that there are choices that can help her family. Finding services for her is a good thing then leave it in her court. She can make arrangements for herself and ask for suggestions. I know she is probably buried in depression and desolation. Holding out a hand for her to find her way is a good thing but she must reach out to get that hand by making some choices and doing something. "Do to Get". </p><p></p><p>You have to consider that if she does come because your family have helped her, what will you do? If she couldn't find services, has no money for food, rent or anything in St. Louis, I doubt she will find them in your little area. What will happen then? It's well and good to help her but you have to project forward to the worst case scenario so you aren't surprised when you wake up and you have the responsibility of feeding and housing another family. You will be hard at work in the hospital and K will be in your house on your computer watching the children. She hasn't really shown an industrious attitude towards getting her kids food and shelter. Everyone goes through a tough time where they are scrounging but most people are so horrified that they make sure it doesn't happen again. You haven't really seen that with K. </p><p></p><p>I'm a big believer that family helps family and that charity starts at home but I make sure I am prepared for the consequences of taking on that sort of burden. I have done it and I know it takes some supreme wisdom to not feel overwhelmed or resentful with the added responsibility after the honeymoon phase. Nicole is anxious to save her but she still is working on herself. Hopefully, there will be services for K and her children can have a life that doesn't include hunger, instability and moving from school to school.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 374706, member: 3"] I think getting on your own feet with a job that you worked so hard to get will be an example to K that there are choices that can help her family. Finding services for her is a good thing then leave it in her court. She can make arrangements for herself and ask for suggestions. I know she is probably buried in depression and desolation. Holding out a hand for her to find her way is a good thing but she must reach out to get that hand by making some choices and doing something. "Do to Get". You have to consider that if she does come because your family have helped her, what will you do? If she couldn't find services, has no money for food, rent or anything in St. Louis, I doubt she will find them in your little area. What will happen then? It's well and good to help her but you have to project forward to the worst case scenario so you aren't surprised when you wake up and you have the responsibility of feeding and housing another family. You will be hard at work in the hospital and K will be in your house on your computer watching the children. She hasn't really shown an industrious attitude towards getting her kids food and shelter. Everyone goes through a tough time where they are scrounging but most people are so horrified that they make sure it doesn't happen again. You haven't really seen that with K. I'm a big believer that family helps family and that charity starts at home but I make sure I am prepared for the consequences of taking on that sort of burden. I have done it and I know it takes some supreme wisdom to not feel overwhelmed or resentful with the added responsibility after the honeymoon phase. Nicole is anxious to save her but she still is working on herself. Hopefully, there will be services for K and her children can have a life that doesn't include hunger, instability and moving from school to school. [/QUOTE]
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