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Oh my - hearing date!
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<blockquote data-quote="mom_to_3" data-source="post: 159730" data-attributes="member: 30"><p>Stands, if you are <strong>NOT</strong> in court......... you can't either give nor deny permission for him to come to your house for house arrest correct? Don't go! I know how difficult it is to detach from our difficult child's, it took me a while not to feel everything I thought my difficult child would or should be feeling. It almost killed me and kept me in a very bad place for almost a year. I am fortunate that I had family that reminded me not to project <strong>MY</strong> feelings onto my difficult child. Their feelings are not what yours are! Your son is sitting back, mooching off the system while you and your husband work to support his illegal habits. I finally learned that as long as <strong>YOU</strong> are feeling all the feelings, fear, anxiety, concern (and making your difficult child aware of it, they know trust me) and <strong>YOU</strong> are the only one taking action, <strong>THEY</strong> don't have to do anything and won't! Jail obviously isn't so bad for him, is it? He goes right back to it.</p><p></p><p>The anxiety I feel when reading your post is very real. Your anxiety. Stands, I'm sorry you even have to feel that way. Shame on your <strong>should be grown man of a son at age 24!</strong> for making his mother feel that way. Instead of anxiety Stands, that really should be anger and disapproval that your son has manipulated you and your family's lives for so many years! That alone would make me move away/detach from him.</p><p></p><p>I have all the compassion in the world for you because I once "felt" everything like you do right now. Trust me, I have to work everyday not to get totally caught up in my difficult child's messes. I remind myself that I did not teach her this way of life. I do not approve of that way of live and most importantly <strong>I WILL NOT PARTICIPATE in that way of life!</strong> As far as illegal activities go....... it's my way or the highway! I don't have time for you.</p><p></p><p>Hugs Stands, know that you deserve better. Expect that for yourself and remove yourself from the craziness that is your son.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mom_to_3, post: 159730, member: 30"] Stands, if you are [B]NOT[/B] in court......... you can't either give nor deny permission for him to come to your house for house arrest correct? Don't go! I know how difficult it is to detach from our difficult child's, it took me a while not to feel everything I thought my difficult child would or should be feeling. It almost killed me and kept me in a very bad place for almost a year. I am fortunate that I had family that reminded me not to project [B]MY[/B] feelings onto my difficult child. Their feelings are not what yours are! Your son is sitting back, mooching off the system while you and your husband work to support his illegal habits. I finally learned that as long as [B]YOU[/B] are feeling all the feelings, fear, anxiety, concern (and making your difficult child aware of it, they know trust me) and [B]YOU[/B] are the only one taking action, [B]THEY[/B] don't have to do anything and won't! Jail obviously isn't so bad for him, is it? He goes right back to it. The anxiety I feel when reading your post is very real. Your anxiety. Stands, I'm sorry you even have to feel that way. Shame on your [B]should be grown man of a son at age 24![/B] for making his mother feel that way. Instead of anxiety Stands, that really should be anger and disapproval that your son has manipulated you and your family's lives for so many years! That alone would make me move away/detach from him. I have all the compassion in the world for you because I once "felt" everything like you do right now. Trust me, I have to work everyday not to get totally caught up in my difficult child's messes. I remind myself that I did not teach her this way of life. I do not approve of that way of live and most importantly [B]I WILL NOT PARTICIPATE in that way of life![/B] As far as illegal activities go....... it's my way or the highway! I don't have time for you. Hugs Stands, know that you deserve better. Expect that for yourself and remove yourself from the craziness that is your son. [/QUOTE]
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