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OK Warrior Moms - I Need to Devise a Plan...
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<blockquote data-quote="Peace Please" data-source="post: 435305" data-attributes="member: 11492"><p>I guess I would be asking myself some questions about the long-term results in this situation. It does depend on the difficult child and what's best for them. Let me say that in the case of our difficult child, it wouldn't be a good idea for him to be able to run to someone else every time he's angry or upset with us. He would never be home. That does sound attractive some days, but is that the best thing for him? We have a specific schedule and rules at home, and the place Little would go has NO rules or structure (probably why he always wants to go there LOL). We have found that no structure or rules, where it's more fun for Little, makes things worse. He NEEDS structure to alleviate his anxiety. Just one day in an unstructured environment brings on a week of rude comments and more tantrums. We wouldn't continue to do this if it wasn't working. It's working slowly, but it's working. </p><p> </p><p>I guess the questions I would ask myself are:</p><p>1. Is this the best option for your daughter? Will she learn anything on her own, or is she just trying to escape the rules of home?</p><p>2. How long will she be welcome at friend's house? Is this a good long-term option for letting her cool down? If she gets used to this arrangement, and it's suddenly taken away from her, how would she react? Would it make things worse at your home in the long-run? </p><p> </p><p>When it comes to stripping her room and making a list of expectations, I would definitely do that. in my opinion, if she doesn't respect the rules of the house, she doesn't deserve to have luxuries, just the basics. She should have to earn the luxuries back over time by following the list of expectations, and hopefully learn something in the process. It may sound cold, but that's my opinion. I refuse to allow a child to take over in my home</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Peace Please, post: 435305, member: 11492"] I guess I would be asking myself some questions about the long-term results in this situation. It does depend on the difficult child and what's best for them. Let me say that in the case of our difficult child, it wouldn't be a good idea for him to be able to run to someone else every time he's angry or upset with us. He would never be home. That does sound attractive some days, but is that the best thing for him? We have a specific schedule and rules at home, and the place Little would go has NO rules or structure (probably why he always wants to go there LOL). We have found that no structure or rules, where it's more fun for Little, makes things worse. He NEEDS structure to alleviate his anxiety. Just one day in an unstructured environment brings on a week of rude comments and more tantrums. We wouldn't continue to do this if it wasn't working. It's working slowly, but it's working. I guess the questions I would ask myself are: 1. Is this the best option for your daughter? Will she learn anything on her own, or is she just trying to escape the rules of home? 2. How long will she be welcome at friend's house? Is this a good long-term option for letting her cool down? If she gets used to this arrangement, and it's suddenly taken away from her, how would she react? Would it make things worse at your home in the long-run? When it comes to stripping her room and making a list of expectations, I would definitely do that. in my opinion, if she doesn't respect the rules of the house, she doesn't deserve to have luxuries, just the basics. She should have to earn the luxuries back over time by following the list of expectations, and hopefully learn something in the process. It may sound cold, but that's my opinion. I refuse to allow a child to take over in my home [/QUOTE]
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